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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47885) - you deserved it (5019)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after doing vigorous chores all day with my girlfriend, her mom came and paid us each $100. My girlfriend cried and threw a fit because she said they were her chores, so she deserves all the money. FML

#20952303
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47863) - you deserved it (4290)

On 11/10/2013 at 3:03am - love - by Go away - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML

#20965341
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47848) - you deserved it (3978)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:27am - love - by this guy - United States (California)

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML

#20975844
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47842) - you deserved it (6767)

On 11/30/2013 at 2:21pm - money - by yulis (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know... every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML

#20963305
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47765) - you deserved it (3164)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:31pm - health - by elle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother not only told me that my ex-husband will be spending Thanksgiving with her and my dad, but that I'm also no longer invited to spend the holiday with my family. FML

#20950805
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47756) - you deserved it (3931)

On 11/08/2013 at 9:54pm - misc - by zoe777 (woman) - United States

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47682) - you deserved it (4130)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

#20967683
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47634) - you deserved it (5632)

On 11/23/2013 at 5:32am - love - by fecal romance (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

#20950012
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47366) - you deserved it (4418)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:30am - love - by probablydodgedabullet - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife and I were watching Killing Kennedy. Jokingly, I said, "Spoiler alert: he dies." She threw a book at me and won't talk to me. I think she's serious. FML

#20953867
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47208) - you deserved it (7208)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Thomas - United States (Virginia)

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

#20966535
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47148) - you deserved it (3592)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:20am - kids - by spooked (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

#20942539
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46903) - you deserved it (5341)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother was scolding my youngest sister for having unprotected sex with yet another partner. She continued with, "Why can't you be like your brother and just never have sex?" I'm 22, and she's not wrong. FML

#20952236
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46738) - you deserved it (4865)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by notgettinsome - Australia



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