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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML

#20975692
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49801) - you deserved it (3535)

On 11/30/2013 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML

#20973574
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49652) - you deserved it (4125)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML

#20975844
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49538) - you deserved it (7017)

On 11/30/2013 at 2:21pm - money - by yulis (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband got mad at me for not helping take out the groceries from the car. He yelled that I'm lazy, and that he regrets our marriage. I guess he forgot that the door handle on that side is broken and he had to let me out of the car. FML

#20953907
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49174) - you deserved it (4448)

On 11/11/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by LetMeOut - United States (Texas)

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

#20975074
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49017) - you deserved it (12014)

On 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML

#20945220
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48960) - you deserved it (11233)

On 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by barebackingit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during school, I passed out in the lunch line and hit my head on the metal rail as I fell. Rather than helping or expressing concern at all, my friends simply left my unconscious body on the floor. Why? They had to get to the lasagna before the cafeteria ran out of it. FML

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48818) - you deserved it (5115)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

#20942539
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48751) - you deserved it (5527)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML

#20965341
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48722) - you deserved it (4039)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:27am - love - by this guy - United States (California)

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know... every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML

#20963305
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48668) - you deserved it (3238)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:31pm - health - by elle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48640) - you deserved it (4442)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

#20967683
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48632) - you deserved it (5725)

On 11/23/2013 at 5:32am - love - by fecal romance (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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