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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML

#20966742
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49867) - you deserved it (3765)

On 11/22/2013 at 9:49am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend "got even" with me after an argument by telling people that I've been beating her. Three guys later came over to my place and beat the crap out of me. Her reaction: "I didn't think they'd take it so serious!" FML

Today, my obsessive ex, who recently cut my phone line to stop me from talking to my boyfriend of three years, got a job at the same restaurant where both my boyfriend and I work. FML

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

#20950523
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49806) - you deserved it (4073)

On 11/08/2013 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by JN5SLK (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I let my sister hold my newborn daughter for the first time. I heard her mutter under her breath, "I could kill you so easily..." FML

Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML

#20957216
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49059) - you deserved it (2678)

On 11/14/2013 at 2:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

#20970124
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49044) - you deserved it (17707)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by sister sister - United States (New York)

Today, for the tenth time, my teacher made a misbehaving student sit next to me as punishment. He begged for detention instead. FML

#20945365
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48955) - you deserved it (5396)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by WinkleBottom (man) - United States

Today, the day before I'm supposed to leave for a long-anticipated trip to Europe, my mother admitted that she's never paid for it. She only told me she did so I would stop hinting that I wanted to go. I gave up Christmas for this trip. FML

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, I realized that my 5 year old son has more money saved up in his piggy bank than I have in my actual bank account. FML

#20962344
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48810) - you deserved it (9496)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14pm - money - by poorman - United States (Maryland)

Today, the guy I like shoved me out of the way so he could talk to another girl. FML

#20964674
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48807) - you deserved it (4630)

On 11/20/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after being forced to take my little sister trick-or-treating, we had the cops called on us twice. She thought it would be funny to tell all the people giving out candy that I'd been following her around and that she had no idea who I was, and that she was scared of me. FML



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