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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40511) - you deserved it (2846)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother finally paid me the $60 he owed me. I later found out that he'd stolen those $60 from my wallet. FML

#20906200
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40464) - you deserved it (2950)

On 10/03/2013 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents favoritism towards my brother really shone through when we moved house and he got the nicest and by far biggest room. I wouldn't mind, but my brother is in college overseas and never comes home. FML

#20905397
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40445) - you deserved it (1917)

On 10/02/2013 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got married. The officiant of the ceremony referred to me as Amanda through my ceremony. My name is Anna. FML

#20904287
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40423) - you deserved it (3453)

On 10/02/2013 at 1:54am - love - by KamiyaHaine (woman) - Singapore

Today, I read an article about the top 10 worst jobs this year. This list includes my degree and three of my main skills and interests. FML

#20921448
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40418) - you deserved it (4497)

On 10/15/2013 at 11:51am - work - by collegegrad (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40365) - you deserved it (4099)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I spent an excruciating hour walking to campus with a broken leg, only to find my professor had left a note on the door saying class was canceled. FML

#20923929
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40346) - you deserved it (2961)

On 10/17/2013 at 12:34pm - health - by LegInPieces - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

#20924645
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40276) - you deserved it (4829)

On 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boss gave me a verbal warning. My crime? Calling people "hon", "darlin'", and the like. I work at a Texas diner. FML

#20924228
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40273) - you deserved it (4950)

On 10/17/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got dumped because a guy sat next to me at a party and I didn't get up to change seats. Apparently, it means I subconsciously like the guy who sat down. FML

#20919316
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40258) - you deserved it (3593)

On 10/13/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I asked my students to buy a copy of Anne Frank's diary for an assignment. One of them asked me in all seriousness who wrote it. FML

#20925665
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40242) - you deserved it (3910) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/18/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by Huedadaa - France (Picardie)

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40162) - you deserved it (2907)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

#20905869
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40155) - you deserved it (3555)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:38am - intimacy - by EconM - United States



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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