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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, l grounded my 17-year-old son from his computer because of his terrible attitude towards his homework. As payback, he convinced my 5-year-old daughter that if she goes to sleep, she'll never wake up. I now have a hysterical and sleepless child to deal with. FML

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45197) - you deserved it (3258)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

#20908715
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45137) - you deserved it (3816)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by animal lover... -

Today, someone stole my card number and tried to use it. Every transaction got declined, not because the bank knew it was a fraudulent charge, but because I'm so poor that he couldn't make even a single purchase. FML

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML

#20923550
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45095) - you deserved it (4057)

On 10/17/2013 at 1:06am - health - by maxkeyftw (man) - United States (California)

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

#20927127
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44976) - you deserved it (6680)

On 10/20/2013 at 2:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML

#20927250
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44963) - you deserved it (5531)

On 10/20/2013 at 8:39am - health - by cantcloselegs (woman) - United States

Today, my boss gave me a verbal warning. My crime? Calling people "hon", "darlin'", and the like. I work at a Texas diner. FML

#20924228
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44943) - you deserved it (5544)

On 10/17/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as a science teacher, I did a science experiment in front of a class. One of my students asked me if it was "photoshopped." He was being serious. FML

#20930096
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44881) - you deserved it (3026)

On 10/22/2013 at 10:24am - kids - by jdawn99 - United States (Kansas)

Today, my parents favoritism towards my brother really shone through when we moved house and he got the nicest and by far biggest room. I wouldn't mind, but my brother is in college overseas and never comes home. FML

#20905397
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44880) - you deserved it (2461)

On 10/02/2013 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

#20916188
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44801) - you deserved it (2520)

On 10/11/2013 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, we had to give a surprise speech in speech class on two of our best and closest friends. My first friend was my mom. I had to make up the other one. FML

#20926629
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44801) - you deserved it (5014)

On 10/19/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by nofriends - United States

Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML

#20910133
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44755) - you deserved it (3055)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:11pm - kids - by TeddyBearKiller (woman) - United States



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