Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the person I've been trying so hard to get with wrote me a beautiful poem that almost everyone at my school saw and liked. It was about how we'd never be together. FML

#20904440
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45216) - you deserved it (3923)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my brother finally paid me the $60 he owed me. I later found out that he'd stolen those $60 from my wallet. FML

#20906200
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45155) - you deserved it (3581)

On 10/03/2013 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend won a diamond engagement ring through a citywide competition. Instead of proposing to me, he's selling it. FML

#20913492
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45119) - you deserved it (15270)

On 10/09/2013 at 3:03am - love - by arthise (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML

#20933884
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45109) - you deserved it (4964)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

#20919168
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44817) - you deserved it (3921)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:50pm - money - by and she blames me -_- (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML

#20927250
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44801) - you deserved it (5518)

On 10/20/2013 at 8:39am - health - by cantcloselegs (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML

#20939175
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44688) - you deserved it (13943)

On 10/30/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by English_Nut117 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44543) - you deserved it (7480)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

#20930986
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44536) - you deserved it (5346)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping around. After telling my best friend, I also found out that he and a few others have known for the past month. He asked, shocked, "Dude, I thought you knew?" FML

#20933837
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44425) - you deserved it (3625)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got married. The officiant of the ceremony referred to me as Amanda through my ceremony. My name is Anna. FML

#20904287
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44404) - you deserved it (3887)

On 10/02/2013 at 1:54am - love - by KamiyaHaine (woman) - Singapore

Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML

#20935582
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44361) - you deserved it (4980)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to school without any makeup on. The guys who usually compliment me for being pretty are now calling me "The Greatest Illusion Ever". FML

#20936906
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44182) - you deserved it (19615)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by The greatest Illusion ever (woman) - United States



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: