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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

#20924645
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46085) - you deserved it (6319)

On 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46074) - you deserved it (4882)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I have to go on a 7-hour-bus ride sitting beside my ex-boyfriend's mother. We broke up because she told him to. FML

#20912397
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46053) - you deserved it (2914)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML

#20926236
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46039) - you deserved it (5079)

On 10/19/2013 at 11:04am - misc - by sleepysophie (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

#20937985
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45965) - you deserved it (12468)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, I had a job interview that I was quite nervous about. During the interview, I struggled to get my words out and the interviewer angrily told me to, "Get on with it." I continued to struggle and was later kicked out for wasting their time. I have a stutter. FML

#20937756
109 comments

Today, I discovered my 10 month old is terrified of my laugh. Every time I start to laugh, she screams in terror. It's getting depressing. FML

#20917208
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45884) - you deserved it (4073)

On 10/12/2013 at 1:40am - kids - by easily amused (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got my driver's permit. To celebrate, my parents decided to go to a bar and make me wait in the car because I'm now the designated driver. FML

#20928623
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45742) - you deserved it (4446)

On 10/21/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

#20919168
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45701) - you deserved it (4019)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:50pm - money - by and she blames me -_- (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

#20936067
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45557) - you deserved it (4133)

On 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm - love - by failure (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45517) - you deserved it (3037)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got into a fight with my mother. Her idea of a birthday present to me is buying me a husband. Yes, buying. She told an asshat she found online about my trust fund, and now they're both trying to put together "the wedding of the millennium". She still doesn't understand why I'm mad. FML

Today, I failed hard at a color test. I thought it was a joke because most of the colors looked the same to me. Now I know why people laugh at my clothes color choices. FML

#20936339
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45326) - you deserved it (3145)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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