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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

#20940427
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44205) - you deserved it (2711)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

#20921493
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44178) - you deserved it (4936)

On 10/15/2013 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML

#20939700
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44121) - you deserved it (4792)

On 10/30/2013 at 10:59pm - misc - by Rinelric1998 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on a first date. He left me standing at a bus stop while he took a dump in some bushes. FML

#20922179
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44114) - you deserved it (3673)

On 10/15/2013 at 11:10pm - love - by highlydisgusted - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

#20922561
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44070) - you deserved it (6078)

On 10/16/2013 at 9:33am - kids - by TiredMum - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

#20915065
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44036) - you deserved it (14576)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, my fiancé's best friend, who will be our best man at our wedding, decided to confess his feelings for me and tell me how he's always dreamed of us eloping together. The wedding is going to be awkward. FML

#20921675
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43982) - you deserved it (2781)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend blew me off yet again because he claims he has a responsibility as a "crew leader" to train and recruit members at all times, to accommodate all time zones. GTA V is ruining our relationship. FML

Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML

#20927730
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43920) - you deserved it (3003)

On 10/20/2013 at 4:34pm - money - by oh... (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML

#20905202
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43770) - you deserved it (4851)

On 10/02/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Sooz (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the person I've been trying so hard to get with wrote me a beautiful poem that almost everyone at my school saw and liked. It was about how we'd never be together. FML

#20904440
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43763) - you deserved it (3774)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML

#20939479
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43717) - you deserved it (2969)

On 10/30/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

#20908628
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43592) - you deserved it (5177)

On 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by -____- (woman) - United States (Washington)



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