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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

#20917903
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42625) - you deserved it (24084)

On 10/12/2013 at 6:03pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland (Borgarfjardarsysla)

Today, I finally found a place to stay after being kicked out by my parents. The psycho owner waited till now to tell me that my bathroom door will remain locked at all times, and that whenever I want to go in there, I have to ask him to unlock it, then do my business while he waits outside. FML

#20926435
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42577) - you deserved it (3422)

On 10/19/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Belize (Belize)

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

#20929522
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42565) - you deserved it (2737)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:40pm - work - by :| - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

#20903082
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42429) - you deserved it (10477)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:47am - intimacy - by whatdoesitmatter (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, my friend texted me from a bar, saying they had just called my name in a raffle to win a trip to Aspen, CO. You had to be at the bar to claim the prize. I had left the bar half-an-hour earlier, not knowing they were even having a raffle. FML

#20920627
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42392) - you deserved it (4129)

On 10/14/2013 at 8:14pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

#20915864
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42227) - you deserved it (4621)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm - kids - by SlapAndTickle - United States

Today, I got dumped because a guy sat next to me at a party and I didn't get up to change seats. Apparently, it means I subconsciously like the guy who sat down. FML

#20919316
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42098) - you deserved it (3764)

On 10/13/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my mother came over to my apartment for a surprise visit. It wasn't until after she left that I realized that I left a half empty bottle of adult toy cleaner on the counter in the bathroom. FML

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML

#20917413
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42078) - you deserved it (4669)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:19am - love - by oink oink... - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

#20902940
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42052) - you deserved it (6524)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:36am - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my parents surprised me by redecorating my room. I think they were more surprised by the box of naughty toys under my bed. FML

#20902324
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42026) - you deserved it (10339)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:41pm - intimacy - by A.Summers (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML

#20928856
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41994) - you deserved it (4268)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by - Canada (Alberta)

Today, and for the fifth week in a row, my dad has been moping around and acting pissy about everything because his psycho girlfriend won't talk to him. He now claims his life is over. I'm being raised by a teenage girl. FML



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