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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

#20908563
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42636) - you deserved it (7781)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

#20933461
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42630) - you deserved it (6735)

On 10/25/2013 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by NOKHAN (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

#20904318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42592) - you deserved it (5857)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:36am - animals - by BasketGhost - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML

#20923550
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42570) - you deserved it (3828)

On 10/17/2013 at 1:06am - health - by maxkeyftw (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

#20917903
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42556) - you deserved it (24020)

On 10/12/2013 at 6:03pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland (Borgarfjardarsysla)

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

#20916188
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42353) - you deserved it (2349)

On 10/11/2013 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

#20903082
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42345) - you deserved it (10456)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:47am - intimacy - by whatdoesitmatter (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, as a science teacher, I did a science experiment in front of a class. One of my students asked me if it was "photoshopped." He was being serious. FML

#20930096
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42343) - you deserved it (2827)

On 10/22/2013 at 10:24am - kids - by jdawn99 - United States (Kansas)

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

#20915864
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42139) - you deserved it (4616)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm - kids - by SlapAndTickle - United States

Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML

#20910133
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42137) - you deserved it (2868)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:11pm - kids - by TeddyBearKiller (woman) - United States

Today, while despairing over having been rejected for my dream job, I received an email asking me to come back in for another interview. Then they called me to say they accidentally sent the email to all the applicants, and that they definitely aren't interested. FML

#20915163
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42114) - you deserved it (2791)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized how bad my OCD is when I accidentally got a paper cut and I was annoyed by the fact that the cut wasn't in a straight line. FML

#20927328
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42055) - you deserved it (6274)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:34am - health - by Teiu88 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML

#20923824
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42026) - you deserved it (4266)

On 10/17/2013 at 9:43am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)



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