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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

#20907451
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43364) - you deserved it (3198)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

#20903328
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43349) - you deserved it (5489)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm - animals - by NestHead (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

#20934761
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43314) - you deserved it (4565)

On 10/26/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by CUCKOO (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while despairing over having been rejected for my dream job, I received an email asking me to come back in for another interview. Then they called me to say they accidentally sent the email to all the applicants, and that they definitely aren't interested. FML

#20915163
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43290) - you deserved it (2914)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML

#20917232
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43279) - you deserved it (3212)

On 10/12/2013 at 2:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML

#20906371
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43237) - you deserved it (2900)

On 10/03/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML

#20922962
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43178) - you deserved it (3651)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:52pm - work - by amy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43107) - you deserved it (8996)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I finally found a place to stay after being kicked out by my parents. The psycho owner waited till now to tell me that my bathroom door will remain locked at all times, and that whenever I want to go in there, I have to ask him to unlock it, then do my business while he waits outside. FML

#20926435
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42937) - you deserved it (3449)

On 10/19/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Belize (Belize)

Today, someone tried to steal my backpack from the hook on the bathroom stall. Good news: they were caught off-guard by how heavy it was and dropped it. Bad news: my foot is now broken from using it to cushion the backpack's fall. FML

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42806) - you deserved it (3708)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML

#20916055
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42763) - you deserved it (4790)

On 10/11/2013 at 2:09am - work - by Itsnotmeitsyou (woman) - Australia

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

#20908563
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42759) - you deserved it (7790)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



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