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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

#20922701
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43315) - you deserved it (9672)

On 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I started training as a bartender. My very first client told me how his wife is sleeping with her sister's husband. He then told me that all the women he knows only want sex, and asked me why "we" were like that. He could be my dad. FML

#20924792
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43295) - you deserved it (4586)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by nerdywaitress (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

#20907451
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43277) - you deserved it (3190)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

#20903328
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43271) - you deserved it (5484)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm - animals - by NestHead (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

#20934761
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43241) - you deserved it (4553)

On 10/26/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by CUCKOO (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while despairing over having been rejected for my dream job, I received an email asking me to come back in for another interview. Then they called me to say they accidentally sent the email to all the applicants, and that they definitely aren't interested. FML

#20915163
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43204) - you deserved it (2908)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML

#20917232
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43189) - you deserved it (3209)

On 10/12/2013 at 2:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43166) - you deserved it (3184)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML

#20906371
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43109) - you deserved it (2891)

On 10/03/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML

#20922962
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43100) - you deserved it (3641)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:52pm - work - by amy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43026) - you deserved it (8988)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

#20928358
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43005) - you deserved it (3314)

On 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm - kids - by momaaa1342 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

#20908715
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43004) - you deserved it (3603)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by animal lover... -



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