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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48834) - you deserved it (5175)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I failed hard at a color test. I thought it was a joke because most of the colors looked the same to me. Now I know why people laugh at my clothes color choices. FML

#20936339
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48816) - you deserved it (3444)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML

#20926236
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48797) - you deserved it (5346)

On 10/19/2013 at 11:04am - misc - by sleepysophie (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

#20936067
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48779) - you deserved it (4449)

On 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm - love - by failure (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend blew me off yet again because he claims he has a responsibility as a "crew leader" to train and recruit members at all times, to accommodate all time zones. GTA V is ruining our relationship. FML

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

#20910894
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48641) - you deserved it (4950)

On 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm - animals - by littlekellilee (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

#20909568
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48615) - you deserved it (3747)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by D: (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, the person I've been trying so hard to get with wrote me a beautiful poem that almost everyone at my school saw and liked. It was about how we'd never be together. FML

#20904440
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48499) - you deserved it (4269)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I have to go on a 7-hour-bus ride sitting beside my ex-boyfriend's mother. We broke up because she told him to. FML

#20912397
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48438) - you deserved it (3100)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend won a diamond engagement ring through a citywide competition. Instead of proposing to me, he's selling it. FML

#20913492
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48395) - you deserved it (16472)

On 10/09/2013 at 3:03am - love - by arthise (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

#20902425
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48298) - you deserved it (3609)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML

#20927250
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48189) - you deserved it (5940)

On 10/20/2013 at 8:39am - health - by cantcloselegs (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered my 10 month old is terrified of my laugh. Every time I start to laugh, she screams in terror. It's getting depressing. FML

#20917208
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48128) - you deserved it (4280)

On 10/12/2013 at 1:40am - kids - by easily amused (woman) - United States



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