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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after holing myself up in my room for the day, I eventually turned my phone back on and told my girlfriend that my grandma passed away today. She replied, "Ask me if I fucking care," then accused me of not caring about our relationship because I went offline all day. FML

#20918838
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49135) - you deserved it (4570)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, it was my first time having a make out session with my boyfriend. I got so nervous that a few minutes into it, I had to stop to take my inhaler. This happened twice more afterwards. FML

#20909145
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49028) - you deserved it (5344)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:20am - intimacy - by inhaler -.- - United States (Alabama)

Today, someone popped my birthday balloon at school. Her reasoning was that she "didn't want people to know we have the same birthday." Who popped it? My identical twin sister. FML

#20934033
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49026) - you deserved it (3352)

On 10/25/2013 at 11:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48707) - you deserved it (5251)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML

#20939123
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48600) - you deserved it (8314)

On 10/30/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by goodgrief (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML

#20939479
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48596) - you deserved it (3647)

On 10/30/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

#20915065
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48534) - you deserved it (16293)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML

#20908389
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48504) - you deserved it (3993)

On 10/05/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by british_babe (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at a dinner with our two families. Not only did she flatly reject me, my dad said, "Good call. He's not ready." FML

#20921216
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48435) - you deserved it (6331)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:49am - love - by notready (man) - Australia

Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML

#20927730
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48333) - you deserved it (3394)

On 10/20/2013 at 4:34pm - money - by oh... (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48250) - you deserved it (3075)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I worked 24 hours straight fixing my company's servers. After it was over, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and promptly fell asleep at my desk. My boss found me an hour later, refused to listen to me, and fired me for sleeping on the job. FML

#20933214
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48229) - you deserved it (4257)

On 10/25/2013 at 5:01am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a first date. He left me standing at a bus stop while he took a dump in some bushes. FML

#20922179
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48225) - you deserved it (4379)

On 10/15/2013 at 11:10pm - love - by highlydisgusted - Canada (Ontario)



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