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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked my grlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." an walked off. FML

#20833166
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50505) - you deserved it (6157)

On 08/12/2013 at 12:49am - love - by WTF? (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realizd that it's been well over a month since mah boyfriend has even trid to have sex with me. The last time was our first time, an because he couldn't keep it up, he's too humiliatd to accept any of mah advances. FML

#20822176
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50472) - you deserved it (6299)

On 08/05/2013 at 2:33pm - intimacy - by Sexless4Life (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, mah husband bought me a present fir our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML

#20846337
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50460) - you deserved it (8560)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:38pm - love - by LizzyJones - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in mah stomach. I ran 4 the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg mah boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

#20817380
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50395) - you deserved it (5069)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today , I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me , yelled ( You cheating bitch! ) in a wounded voice , then walked away , fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month fir cheating on me with my ( best friend. ) FML

#20827624
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50277) - you deserved it (3348)

On 08/08/2013 at 5:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

today I discovard tat wifa namd our kids aftar ar formar lovars. Wa ava two sons and a daugtar. maga FML

#20819538
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50265) - you deserved it (5024)

On 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I could ear ma daugter playing wit er Barbie dolls in er room. ( Do u tink your boss will agree to give u a raise? ), se said. ( Of course, we slept togeter! ) My daugter is six. mega FML

#20856377
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50251) - you deserved it (8331) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

2day I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a sower wit me. He got in, wased imself, an got out, ignoring me teole time. FML

#20852722
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50106) - you deserved it (7244)

On 08/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by -.- - United States

TODAY, I WAS WATCING MY 3-YEAR-OLD SISTER PLAY IN TE BATTUB. SE STARTED SCREAMING AT ER TOYS, SAYING "YOU'RE STAYING UNDER TE WATER UNTIL U DIE!" SE TEN LOOKED AT ME AND CACKLED. I SARE A ROOM WIT TIS DEMON CILD. MEGA FML

#20814477
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50058) - you deserved it (3697)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:03am - kids - by ktiskool (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mrror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, ( It's time to die. ) I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

#20817313
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49879) - you deserved it (8451)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I went down on mah boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I lerened . I read in a magazine that if you humhile giving oral, it's supposed to feel good . My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds cuz I reminded him of his singing toothbrush . FML

#20857818
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49746) - you deserved it (9285)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

TODAY.. . MY 16-YEAR-OLD BROTHER MANAGED TO CONVINCE MY 22-YEAR-OLD BOYFRIEND THAT I BREASTFEED MY PET PARROT . FML

#20835369
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49633) - you deserved it (5052)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, ma mum pickd up a bunc of tissues tat were scatterd around ma room. Se examind tem, ten askd me to stop wasting er potential grandcildren. FML

#20825949
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49610) - you deserved it (40541)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt



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