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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

#20832277
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53604) - you deserved it (5783)

On 08/11/2013 at 2:11pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML

#20831181
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53460) - you deserved it (4240)

On 08/10/2013 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML

#20846337
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53412) - you deserved it (8836)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:38pm - love - by LizzyJones - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my fiancé told me he wished he never met me and that he wished I didn't exist. Our wedding is next week. FML

#20819957
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53300) - you deserved it (5170)

On 08/04/2013 at 4:37am - love - by uniannonymous - United Kingdom (Merton)

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

#20817313
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53192) - you deserved it (8930)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was showing a new girl around at school. As we were walking through the parking lot she noticed a green jeep and commented "I heard the person who drives that is a total creep. Is he?" I said I didn't know who it was. It was my car. FML

#20846340
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53112) - you deserved it (6074)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by mycar - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

#20825949
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52968) - you deserved it (42916)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML

#20832766
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52917) - you deserved it (5640)

On 08/11/2013 at 8:58pm - kids - by mydaughterisdisturbed - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

#20822001
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52899) - you deserved it (5323)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by Serum - United States (Kansas)

Today, while at a concert, my boyfriend got mad and jealous because I kept looking at the singer instead of him. He still won't talk to me. FML

#20834941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52781) - you deserved it (6539)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:58am - love - by really? - United States

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

#20838513
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52747) - you deserved it (3417)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:34am - work - by lawman (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML

#20833166
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52510) - you deserved it (6367)

On 08/12/2013 at 12:49am - love - by WTF? (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52447) - you deserved it (4632)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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