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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was feeling down because I always think that I'm overweight. My boyfriend tried to prove me wrong by lifting me up. I threw his back out. FML

#20823726
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47983) - you deserved it (9434)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:01pm - health - by GirlfriendsAreBadForYourBack - United States (New York)

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML

#20852966
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47982) - you deserved it (4161)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:46pm - kids - by pda (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized why my water bill has gone down so much. My 16 year old daughter now only feels it necessary to shower whenever her boyfriend is going to come over. FML

#20822231
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47925) - you deserved it (4907)

On 08/05/2013 at 3:10pm - kids - by OhBoy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

Today, my mother bitched me out for filing divorce papers against my abusive husband. According to her, it's a "slap in God's face". She's the one who's divorced two husbands so far because they weren't getting job promotions fast enough to support her hoarding habit. FML

#20852500
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47888) - you deserved it (2557)

On 08/24/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

#20827713
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47710) - you deserved it (17806)

On 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by fuck my arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I received a phone call that started with, "Now stay calm... Your house is on fire." FML

#20834558
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47598) - you deserved it (2567)

On 08/12/2013 at 10:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

#20833620
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47579) - you deserved it (3223)

On 08/12/2013 at 11:24am - health - by nutfreak (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I attended the funeral of a close friend. Most of the other guests were openly grinning and joking around, and the guy in front of me kept muttering "that's what she said" during the eulogy. FML

#20817315
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47480) - you deserved it (2917)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:58pm - misc - by fuck people (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML

#20823799
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47343) - you deserved it (6134)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by stillembarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that my boyfriend only has sex with me to get me to shut up. FML

#20827840
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47306) - you deserved it (20036)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by blissful oblivion (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, my mom got a cat. I'm allergic to cats, so I politely asked my mom why she got it. Her response: "I want you to finally want to move out." I turned eighteen two weeks ago. FML

#20835283
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47182) - you deserved it (4732)

On 08/13/2013 at 11:36am - work - by skaterboy - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
114 comments


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