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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

#20846451
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55160) - you deserved it (6183)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML

#20817944
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55126) - you deserved it (5237)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:01am - intimacy - by tigger2013 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55073) - you deserved it (4600)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

#20852629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54981) - you deserved it (7219)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

#20813979
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54747) - you deserved it (5262)

On 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

#20825416
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54523) - you deserved it (7137)

On 08/07/2013 at 11:46am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML

#20856558
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54484) - you deserved it (4892)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I broke into tears at work after being told my aunt had a stroke. My boss told me to "suck it up, no one is that close to their aunt." My aunt adopted me when my mother passed away. FML

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54316) - you deserved it (18255)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years old. FML

#20848790
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53314) - you deserved it (3319)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53241) - you deserved it (15785)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it was my birthday. I spent all day in bed, sick with the flu. My boyfriend then broke up with me by text, because he didn't want to risk getting sick by doing it in person. FML

#20838443
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53009) - you deserved it (3201)

On 08/15/2013 at 7:28am - love - by Rachel8896 - United States (Washington)



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