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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while mourning my friend's recent passing, my dad told me to shut the fuck up because "worse things are going on in the world". FML

#20782358
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51294) - you deserved it (4324)

On 07/14/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

#20765717
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51274) - you deserved it (4882)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by The fuck, junior? (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML

#20796202
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51273) - you deserved it (3659)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm - work - by Gross (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her another girl's name. FML

#20797095
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51187) - you deserved it (27492)

On 07/22/2013 at 4:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, some guys were doing construction on my house, when one of them came over and started asking me about my "hot sister". That "sister" is my 13-year-old daughter. FML

#20781189
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51053) - you deserved it (4019)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, I poured my heart out to my now ex-girlfriend over the recent passing away of my grandmother. Her eyes glazed over multiple times, and when I said that I don't know how to cope with everything, her advice was simply, "Shotgun. Mouth. Blam." FML

#20766944
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50927) - you deserved it (4773)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)

Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heart attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic, which trumped my 6-year degree. FML

#20804217
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50809) - you deserved it (2764)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:58am - health - by Saddoc (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was in a restroom, reading this site, when another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands, dried them, nodded at me, then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so weird, except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

#20784458
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50783) - you deserved it (8401)

On 07/15/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, one of my employees filed a complaint against me. He claims that I "pick on him" and make him do things I "wouldn't do". Apparently, making him do his job and trying to convince him to wear clean clothes that don't smell like garbage is considered a bad thing. FML

#20813192
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50403) - you deserved it (4358)

On 07/31/2013 at 10:15am - work - by Zatnikatel (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

#20784153
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50363) - you deserved it (3456)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by leeceetaylor99 - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML

Today, I had a customer scream at me for ruining their child's birthday party. They had bought a Piñata from me and didn't know they had to fill it themselves. The kids had hit it open and it was empty. FML

#20809207
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50349) - you deserved it (4096)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:30am - work - by Fitz - United States



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