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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was removing large shrubs from a house. I heard my co-worker yell something, but I couldn't hear him, so I just pulled the stump out anyway. What I realized too late was that he was telling me that there was a swarm of bees living behind the stump. FML

#20794428
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41967) - you deserved it (11528)

On 07/20/2013 at 5:44pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway in the wind, it's really just having an orgasm. Not only did she believe me, she's been smugly informing everyone we know. She's 26. I seem to be friends with an absolute idiot. FML

#20795779
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41904) - you deserved it (5784)

On 07/21/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by what have i done with my life (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

#20790784
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41848) - you deserved it (11528)

On 07/18/2013 at 4:53pm - health - by broken finger (man) - United States

Today, I was reading a newspaper at a bus stop when a creepy guy rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "I miss the good old days, when people would read newspapers together and it wasn't classed as weird." Then he walked away. FML

#20772742
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41836) - you deserved it (3634)

On 07/09/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by help - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my 30-year-old husband about why Sesame Street isn't a "soap opera." FML

#20811311
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41796) - you deserved it (4965)

On 07/30/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by imagrouch (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while texting my boyfriend, I noticed that he copies and pastes old messages so he doesn't have to write new ones. FML

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

#20804067
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41579) - you deserved it (4016)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by dareyale (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, a co-worker verbally abused me because I yawned. His excuse was that, "It's contagious". FML

#20800837
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41501) - you deserved it (4236)

On 07/24/2013 at 5:15am - work - by CapNCook (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend set up a profile for me on an adult dating site as a surprise. It was a surprise alright. The picture he set as my avatar was one of me stark naked, which I sent to my ex shortly before he dumped me. FML

#20794134
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41464) - you deserved it (9216)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:43pm - misc - by .............. (woman) - Germany (Saarland)

Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML

#20757330
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41414) - you deserved it (5199)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49am - work - by Neveragain (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

#20803758
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41343) - you deserved it (19690)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend got angry because I laughed when he asked me if he should retire from being a Pokemon Trainer. He was serious. He's also 21. FML

#20798065
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41028) - you deserved it (11389)

On 07/22/2013 at 6:14pm - love - by ihatepokemon (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into an elderly man's room in the hospital I work to give him his food. After he struggled to sit up, I noticed his hand move down towards his crotch. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "I have to do this to my scrotum because it gets sweaty and sticks to my leg." FML



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