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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51695) - you deserved it (3681)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom cut off the legs of all my pants, because she says I don't show enough skin for guys. I'm now forced to wear jaggedly cut shorts that barely cover my thighs until I can buy new ones. FML

#20739324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51231) - you deserved it (4994)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51201) - you deserved it (11912)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

#20707362
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51199) - you deserved it (4701)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my work gave me a vacation for my performance. It's a trip to somewhere in the Caribbean, with the nickname "The Sunniest Place on Earth." I have skin cancer. FML

#20706766
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51168) - you deserved it (3748)

On 06/05/2013 at 12:22am - health - by TooSunnyForSkin - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML

#20752290
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51068) - you deserved it (3619)

On 06/28/2013 at 11:51am - misc - by me - United States

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I woke up right as the dentist pulled my last tooth. FML

#20708877
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51042) - you deserved it (3253)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Applejacks18 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

#20709788
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50981) - you deserved it (3479)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, my future sister-in-law cancelled my invitation to her and my brother's wedding. Her reason was that I was incredibly rude to announce my pregnancy to my family at a time like this, because it took all the attention away from her. FML

#20727924
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50980) - you deserved it (4652)

On 06/15/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50921) - you deserved it (5093)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML

#20717345
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50815) - you deserved it (5693)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:55am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

#20729997
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50813) - you deserved it (4695)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by scarredforlife - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months got upset and frustrated with me because he had yet to meet my mom. I'd told him on our first date that she passed away 4 years ago. FML

#20736145
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50808) - you deserved it (3249)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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