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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

#20720453
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53442) - you deserved it (2316)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

#20717445
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53388) - you deserved it (5210)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by wellthanks (woman) - United States

Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML

#20723014
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53100) - you deserved it (2926)

On 06/13/2013 at 3:05am - health - by _Tatyana_ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53015) - you deserved it (9386)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

#20698551
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52843) - you deserved it (4411)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to walk home in the rain because my mom didn't want to get her new car wet. FML

#20705347
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52734) - you deserved it (3146)

On 06/04/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

#20749135
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52719) - you deserved it (5831)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by the_lonely_life - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend of nearly 2 years out to dinner so I could propose. When the waiter brought the check, I caused a bit of a scene to get everyone's attention. When I got on my knee and proposed, she said no and asked if I could hurry up and pay, because she was embarrassed. FML

#20744819
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52350) - you deserved it (14221)

On 06/24/2013 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got mugged on the way to my 21st birthday party at a bar. I begged the thug to at least throw me my ID, only to have him laugh and run away singing "happy birthday". FML

#20711068
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52307) - you deserved it (3228)

On 06/07/2013 at 1:14am - money - by ididntevendrinkthatnight - United States (New York)

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

#20701600
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52215) - you deserved it (5677)

On 06/02/2013 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by i'm not psychic, mother fucker (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

#20732995
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52206) - you deserved it (5023)

On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

#20727770
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51940) - you deserved it (7245)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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