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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62461) - you deserved it (38777)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML

#20698730
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62391) - you deserved it (3091)

On 06/01/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by regstl - United States (Oregon)

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

#20714723
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62297) - you deserved it (12386)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

#20742274
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61370) - you deserved it (24025)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61240) - you deserved it (13867)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML

#20703790
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61148) - you deserved it (7645)

On 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by VDM (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

#20720453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61133) - you deserved it (3062)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML

#20742451
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60827) - you deserved it (8973)

On 06/23/2013 at 10:42am - love - by foreveralone (man) - United States

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

#20749135
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60716) - you deserved it (6747)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by the_lonely_life - United States

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

#20725457
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60674) - you deserved it (4189)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)



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