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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

#20683669
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51912) - you deserved it (9320)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML

#20696622
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51869) - you deserved it (3791)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom came back from a major surgery. She also had a yeast infection. I had to push the applicator in because she couldn't bend down. This cannot be unfelt. FML

#20641584
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51835) - you deserved it (3202)

On 05/04/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I let my dad put my dollar in the slot machine for me because I'm not old enough to gamble. I won $200 but he kept it because he "put the dollar in the slot machine." FML

#20650676
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51805) - you deserved it (9723)

On 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

#20656774
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51776) - you deserved it (6014)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm - kids - by failure as a parent (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51771) - you deserved it (4970)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51695) - you deserved it (13949)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML

#20647398
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51588) - you deserved it (9271)

On 05/07/2013 at 8:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML

#20651917
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51380) - you deserved it (3097)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML

#20635835
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51229) - you deserved it (2450)

On 05/01/2013 at 9:52pm - work - by Paul (man) - United States

Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML

#20641408
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51210) - you deserved it (8757)

On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

#20638599
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51180) - you deserved it (5419)

On 05/03/2013 at 7:32am - health - by poopydaddy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

#20672414
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51155) - you deserved it (4679)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States



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