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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML

#20642863
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58732) - you deserved it (8384)

On 05/05/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML

#20642261
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58580) - you deserved it (11319)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

#20661511
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58401) - you deserved it (3335)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

#20694473
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57938) - you deserved it (9578)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

#20690777
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57887) - you deserved it (3310)

On 05/28/2013 at 4:09am - love - by really? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML

#20637622
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57672) - you deserved it (3817)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm - love - by psycho ex (man) - Brazil

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57459) - you deserved it (7985)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

#20687932
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57207) - you deserved it (3973)

On 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by MsAnonymous17 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML

#20656960
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57193) - you deserved it (9469)

On 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by wrongguy - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57024) - you deserved it (4406)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML

#20686906
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56948) - you deserved it (3106)

On 05/26/2013 at 5:19am - misc - by gooddeedgonebad (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was sitting next to an attractive man. Much to my surprise, he started stroking his foot against mine. I was happy at the flirting because I've been attracted to him forever, so I played along. That's when he stood up and explained he was trying to stretch out a cramp. FML

#20664979
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56881) - you deserved it (11313)

On 05/15/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Redfaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

#20645244
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56842) - you deserved it (4513)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:25am - work - by perfecttiming (man) - United States (California)



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