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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

#20684256
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38918) - you deserved it (4239)

On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

#20652571
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38708) - you deserved it (13767)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by drug testing - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while on my way to an important interview, I was stopped and ticketed for speeding. The ticket made me 20 minutes late, but when I showed up, I was told they forgot to call and let me know that the woman I was supposed to meet with called in sick this morning. FML

Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML

#20676137
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38543) - you deserved it (6201)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm - animals - by catcraze - United States (Colorado)

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

#20663096
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38377) - you deserved it (3295)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States

Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML

#20634740
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38313) - you deserved it (8386)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML

#20679773
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37761) - you deserved it (13243)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by hobbit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in preparation for a third interview for my dream job, I spent an hour selecting the perfect outfit. I hung everything on my bedroom door and went to shower. My dog decided to play tug-of-war with the clothing and redesign the shoes. The only thing to survive unscathed was the hanger. FML

#20681337
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37698) - you deserved it (6724)

On 05/23/2013 at 6:52am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while working at Walmart, I was walking the sales floor and passed the end of an aisle. I saw a customer coming at me from the corner of my eye, so I jumped backwards. I hit a display case, and watched it topple over before turning to apologize to the customer. It was a ladder. FML

#20690744
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37408) - you deserved it (9463)

On 05/28/2013 at 3:11am - work - by Olerbia - United States

Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML

#20687417
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37113) - you deserved it (3904)

On 05/26/2013 at 1:55pm - health - by ewwww (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the communications expert I'm forced to work with added the line "as they can catch bigger fishes" to a film script. She does not believe me when I tell her that the plural of fish is "fish." This idiot not only has the final word, she makes twice what I do. FML

#20682053
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36997) - you deserved it (4137)

On 05/23/2013 at 4:15pm - work - by onefishtwofishes (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my piano teacher complimented my song, calling it great. I was proud and thanked him, then realized he was being sarcastic. FML

#20683283
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36972) - you deserved it (4635)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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