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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got my nails, hair, and makeup professionally done for prom. My dad got his camera out, and I presumed he was taking pictures of my date and me. When I looked at the pictures later, they were all of the dog. FML

#20673563
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43033) - you deserved it (4213)

On 05/19/2013 at 6:33pm - animals - by rach (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, some jackass in an Iron Man mask nailed me in the head with a quarter while I was helping other customers. Minimum wage isn't worth this crap. FML

#20696570
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42912) - you deserved it (3623)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:05am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I stepped out of the kitchen to yell at my kids for running in the house. I had just mopped the floor, and did not want them to fall. I fell while yelling and twisted my ankle. At least they know it's dangerous now. FML

#20667457
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42777) - you deserved it (9336)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by meepdaleap - United States (Virginia)

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

#20649461
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42721) - you deserved it (15201)

On 05/08/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by Sebastian20 (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, my dog had her stomach pumped because she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made for a bake sale to be exact. FML

#20636616
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42721) - you deserved it (6570)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I visited my grandma. Shortly after I arrived, she freaked out after finding a "snake" in her closet. It was a rubber snake that my brother must have put there yesterday as a prank. I picked it up and told her it was fake. She then yelled at me for playing such a disgusting prank on her. FML

#20697100
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42669) - you deserved it (3577)

On 05/31/2013 at 9:54am - misc - by cantwin (man) - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42585) - you deserved it (3219)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML

#20673625
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42582) - you deserved it (5780)

On 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm - misc - by black hoodie - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML

#20688959
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42556) - you deserved it (4853)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:39am - misc - by docwinters (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at dance rehearsal. As a male dancer I like to keep the fact that I dance a secret because of the stupid stereotypes male dancers have. This plan was quickly shot down when I discovered I was performing at my school. FML

#20639678
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42552) - you deserved it (5756)

On 05/03/2013 at 8:39pm - misc - by DeActivated (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

#20694934
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42541) - you deserved it (10504)

On 05/30/2013 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I stressed out preparing for our one week holiday. We packed for the whole day, said goodbye to everyone and arrived at the airport quite exhausted after a 45-minute train ride. Turns out our flight isn't until tomorrow. The check-in lady couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20640490
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42510) - you deserved it (15721)

On 05/04/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by Tickettoride (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML

#20679356
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42295) - you deserved it (3693)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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