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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41714) - you deserved it (3162)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I stressed out preparing for our one week holiday. We packed for the whole day, said goodbye to everyone and arrived at the airport quite exhausted after a 45-minute train ride. Turns out our flight isn't until tomorrow. The check-in lady couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20640490
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41713) - you deserved it (15464)

On 05/04/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by Tickettoride (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I was at dance rehearsal. As a male dancer I like to keep the fact that I dance a secret because of the stupid stereotypes male dancers have. This plan was quickly shot down when I discovered I was performing at my school. FML

#20639678
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41656) - you deserved it (5651)

On 05/03/2013 at 8:39pm - misc - by DeActivated (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML

#20664946
79 comments

Today, my mom has gone completely insane and insists we only flush the toilet or wash our hands at the start or end of the day, "to save on bills." My young sister thinks it's the best idea ever. My mom makes our food, and my sister just loves to touch everyone's faces. FML

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

#20694934
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41465) - you deserved it (10199)

On 05/30/2013 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received a notice that if I don't move the abandoned vehicle from outside my house it will be repossessed at my expense. My car isn't abandoned. FML

#20662395
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41387) - you deserved it (4040)

On 05/14/2013 at 1:29am - misc - by CrappyCar (woman) - United States

Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML

#20688959
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41346) - you deserved it (4725)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:39am - misc - by docwinters (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

#20673285
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41290) - you deserved it (3386)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41243) - you deserved it (4199)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

#20660172
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41047) - you deserved it (4830)

On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML

#20695638
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40919) - you deserved it (16632)

On 05/30/2013 at 5:18pm - health - by :( (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I got my third promotion at work in as many years. My husband congratulated me very briefly, before asking if this meant he no longer had to look for a job. FML

#20671146
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40763) - you deserved it (4863)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Guanajuato)



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