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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

#20668938
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43932) - you deserved it (5371)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by jessinono (woman) - United States

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

#20670019
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43900) - you deserved it (12751)

On 05/17/2013 at 10:59pm - love - by moo... -

Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML

#20665269
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43794) - you deserved it (3219)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

#20684326
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43708) - you deserved it (6668)

On 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm - love - by yesguysgetabusedtoo (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML

#20655587
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43701) - you deserved it (7260)

On 05/11/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

#20672107
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43538) - you deserved it (20860)

On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

#20679387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43533) - you deserved it (3521)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

#20660172
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43447) - you deserved it (5077)

On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I started the bleaching treatments that my dentist recommended. Now, my two front teeth have ultra white spots, the rest of my teeth are still yellow and the roof of my mouth is burned. FML

#20653345
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43412) - you deserved it (8376)

On 05/09/2013 at 11:11pm - health - by ZydecosGirl - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a baby voice. This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her like you would a puppy or a baby. Someone kill me. FML

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

#20649324
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43349) - you deserved it (5353)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML

#20695638
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43100) - you deserved it (17505)

On 05/30/2013 at 5:18pm - health - by :( (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I got an email saying the gift I'd ordered for my boyfriend of three years had been sent. I ordered it a couple of days ago because I thought he needed cheering up. I guess he found a better way of doing so himself; he broke up with me yesterday. FML

#20677289
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43052) - you deserved it (3098)

On 05/21/2013 at 6:24am - love - by moikristine - Norway (Akershus)



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