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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my cell phone bill was much higher than normal. After investigating, I realized that a text conversation I had with my stalker, telling him multiple times not to contact me anymore, was to an international cell phone. I have to pay to be stalked. FML

#20666438
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40407) - you deserved it (5284)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:31am - money - by astalkerindeed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to go to the Apple store and log me on to Facebook on every single computer. FML

#20695876
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40019) - you deserved it (7403)

On 05/30/2013 at 7:06pm - love - by Terminator101101 - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML

#20672246
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40014) - you deserved it (23033)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States

Today, I was laid off from my job as a manager. After cleaning out my office, I began clearing my computer. I received an email from HR announcing a job position that opened up. Too bad it was for my job. FML

#20651556
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39995) - you deserved it (3170)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, after months of tests for mystery nerve pain, I went to get more blood taken only to leave the clinic with an empty tin to collect my bowel movements for the next 72 hours. Which needs to be refrigerated. I live with 4 other people, with one fridge. FML

#20688590
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39858) - you deserved it (2368)

On 05/27/2013 at 1:05am - health - by you're shitting me - Australia

Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML

#20669248
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39793) - you deserved it (11270)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML

#20633517
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39763) - you deserved it (4132)

On 04/30/2013 at 8:31pm - money - by honeynuggetviolin -

Today, my mom has gone completely insane and insists we only flush the toilet or wash our hands at the start or end of the day, "to save on bills." My young sister thinks it's the best idea ever. My mom makes our food, and my sister just loves to touch everyone's faces. FML

Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML

#20636739
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39572) - you deserved it (3773)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after being nearly homeless and couch-hopping for the last few months, I finally signed a 1-year lease. When I got home, I was surprised to see a picture of my new complex on the front page of the newspaper. It turns out that they are fighting a serious bedbug infestation. FML

#20633909
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39433) - you deserved it (3164)

On 04/30/2013 at 10:50pm - misc - by creepycrawley247 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was rushed to the ER due to a very swollen foot and high fever. The doctors said I just have a tissue infection but my parents believe I have a flesh eating disease. I can hear them discussing my future with an amputated leg. FML

#20652691
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39392) - you deserved it (2074)

On 05/09/2013 at 7:18pm - health - by iLikeMyLegs - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my family and friends decided to throw a surprise party for my 16th birthday. I was so surprised that the shortness of breath triggered a serious asthma attack. FML

#20668366
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39357) - you deserved it (3317)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by presente13 (woman) - United States

Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML

#20681811
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39308) - you deserved it (2866)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Buzau)



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