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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while at a concert, I stepped into a restroom to use my nasal spray since my allergies were acting up. Apparently, someone thought that I had been snorting coke in the stall. I was escorted outside and had to wait for the cops until I could explain everything. I missed the headliner. FML

#20677338
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44340) - you deserved it (3160)

On 05/21/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML

#20634162
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44108) - you deserved it (11483)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Sean - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML

#20672246
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44078) - you deserved it (25694)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States

Today, my friend told me she'd lost her notebook filled with crucial notes for our finals. She asked if she could borrow mine and copy my notes. She then lost my notebook too. FML

#20669510
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44045) - you deserved it (11141)

On 05/17/2013 at 6:28pm - misc - by well great. - United States (Mississippi)

Today, it was my very last day teaching my dance class. After the class ended, the owner of the studio started clapping and told all my students to give me a hug. No one hugged me. No one. FML

#20691616
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43785) - you deserved it (5100)

On 05/28/2013 at 6:14pm - work - by funnygirl018 - United States

Today, I was berated by a pharmacist, who said that kids these days are on so many unnecessary medications for "fake diseases". I was just trying to pick up the medication I've been prescribed to control my epilepsy. FML

Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML

#20678725
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43693) - you deserved it (2573)

On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I e-mailed the on-line instructor for my job, telling her that I had fallen behind in my work due to my grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope your grandmother gets better soon." FML

#20679441
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43681) - you deserved it (2880)

On 05/22/2013 at 8:28am - misc - by projectfain - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML

#20670246
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43670) - you deserved it (5704)

On 05/18/2013 at 1:22am - love - by Sarsippius -

Today, I was laid off from my job as a manager. After cleaning out my office, I began clearing my computer. I received an email from HR announcing a job position that opened up. Too bad it was for my job. FML

#20651556
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43514) - you deserved it (3470)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML

#20655778
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43509) - you deserved it (5493)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:52am - misc - by GaveAnInchTakeAMile (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to end things with my boyfriend, thinking it would be fine since things have never been at all serious between us. He cried for hours before having his grandmother text me to say how heartless I am. FML

#20654207
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43491) - you deserved it (8057)

On 05/10/2013 at 12:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

#20679293
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43416) - you deserved it (3263)

On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States



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