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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

#20648219
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41191) - you deserved it (3045)

On 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by fuckingjesusgran (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, I called my fiancé just to tell him how much I love him, as a sweet gesture. He yelled at me for interrupting his video game and blamed my "neediness" on the fact that I'm menstruating. FML

#20684824
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40978) - you deserved it (7494)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:40am - love - by BellinaNico (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML

#20687700
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40965) - you deserved it (16222)

On 05/26/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by bestiality? do I look like a pig? (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

#20663152
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40876) - you deserved it (4591)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML

#20664501
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40870) - you deserved it (2327)

On 05/15/2013 at 2:21am - health - by the only sober one (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML

#20684874
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40863) - you deserved it (2751)

On 05/25/2013 at 1:09am - work - by mmmretail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML

#20646182
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40836) - you deserved it (3151)

On 05/06/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by sobasics - United States

Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML

#20634162
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40822) - you deserved it (10479)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Sean - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

#20684818
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40818) - you deserved it (7276)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:37am - kids - by Laurel (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML

#20666555
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40783) - you deserved it (5107)

On 05/16/2013 at 1:58am - love - by married life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML

#20661009
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40717) - you deserved it (2904)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML

#20674823
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40701) - you deserved it (5546)

On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML

#20690062
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40698) - you deserved it (13066)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:56pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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