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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

#20664547
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42116) - you deserved it (9282)

On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML

#20644793
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41953) - you deserved it (9244)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

#20692945
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41943) - you deserved it (2868)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was reading and started laughing at a funny part in my book. My mom then bitched me out because she thought I was laughing at her. She called me a liar after I explained myself. Her logic? "Books aren't funny". FML

#20647629
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41939) - you deserved it (3352)

On 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by Marmarfarfar (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML

#20678301
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41904) - you deserved it (2398)

On 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm - money - by LightsOut - United States (Florida)

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

#20682049
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41905) - you deserved it (3786)

On 05/23/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by eric4 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML

#20681698
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41900) - you deserved it (2439)

On 05/23/2013 at 12:40pm - love - by a single fuck (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML

#20671425
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41873) - you deserved it (6401)

On 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm - love - by SteroidPenguin (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was cleaning dishes in the back. I started to sing to myself. During the chorus I heard the echo of my voice in my ear. My boss had pushed the talk button on my headset so every staff member and everyone in the lobby could hear me over the intercom. FML

#20653580
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41811) - you deserved it (8536)

On 05/10/2013 at 12:44am - work - by legit247 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I e-mailed the on-line instructor for my job, telling her that I had fallen behind in my work due to my grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope your grandmother gets better soon." FML

#20679441
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41648) - you deserved it (2724)

On 05/22/2013 at 8:28am - misc - by projectfain - United States (Ohio)

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

#20673360
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41515) - you deserved it (5649)

On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

#20636451
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41428) - you deserved it (5816)

On 05/02/2013 at 4:27am - misc - by inyobeddd (man) - United States (California)

Today, the vet sent me an email wishing my kitten a happy 2nd birthday. My cat died last year. FML

#20686886
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41217) - you deserved it (3398)

On 05/26/2013 at 4:33am - animals - by Tiber46 (man) - United States (California)



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