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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML

#20651954
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46844) - you deserved it (9549)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia (Makkah)

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML

#20654488
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46597) - you deserved it (4450)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by o___O" (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

#20636451
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46466) - you deserved it (6364)

On 05/02/2013 at 4:27am - misc - by inyobeddd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML

#20633517
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46434) - you deserved it (5246)

On 04/30/2013 at 8:31pm - money - by honeynuggetviolin -

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46376) - you deserved it (7876)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML

#20662885
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46261) - you deserved it (3616)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm - work - by sumhub94 - United States

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

#20681121
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46254) - you deserved it (3008)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML

#20689621
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46220) - you deserved it (4056)

On 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm - work - by fuck you retail (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mum made me take her poodle on a walk, which she'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress. Being a 19-year-old guy, I was pissed. After I got home, I saw that my mom had filmed me from the window and posted it to Facebook, to everyone's great delight. FML

#20695533
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46215) - you deserved it (5481)

On 05/30/2013 at 4:25pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after months of tests for mystery nerve pain, I went to get more blood taken only to leave the clinic with an empty tin to collect my bowel movements for the next 72 hours. Which needs to be refrigerated. I live with 4 other people, with one fridge. FML

#20688590
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46206) - you deserved it (3057)

On 05/27/2013 at 1:05am - health - by you're shitting me - Australia

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

#20689805
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46164) - you deserved it (3453)

On 05/27/2013 at 6:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to go to the Apple store and log me on to Facebook on every single computer. FML

#20695876
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46104) - you deserved it (8653)

On 05/30/2013 at 7:06pm - love - by Terminator101101 - United States (Nevada)



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