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December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML

#20193405
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30485) - you deserved it (3441)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

#20427288
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30396) - you deserved it (3630)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

#20415295
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30135) - you deserved it (3737)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

#20419133
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30067) - you deserved it (3175)

On 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Chanman1924 - United States

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

#20399736
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29907) - you deserved it (5703)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by mandybar15 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

#20415555
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29626) - you deserved it (7430)

On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29593) - you deserved it (5899)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML

#20420113
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29415) - you deserved it (3248)

On 12/25/2012 at 12:00am - love - by all by myself - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29258) - you deserved it (7836)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29191) - you deserved it (3186)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my crazy psychopath of a neighbor sent me an email with the subject, "So, about your sex life." I've been sitting here for 20 minutes staring at it because I'm too scared to open it. FML

#20189915
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28864) - you deserved it (3004)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28862) - you deserved it (8339)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

#20426821
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28804) - you deserved it (23510)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)



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