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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to a domestic violence counseling group. I was the only male there, and I explained that my girlfriend punches me in the face in front of my kids. Everyone started laughing. FML

Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML

#21410693
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38430) - you deserved it (6401)

On 05/15/2015 at 8:50pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend's mum publicly shamed him on Facebook after she caught him having sex under her roof today. Everyone thought it was hilarious, except me. Not because I'm ashamed, but because I'm over 300 miles away right now. FML

#21407667
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36353) - you deserved it (2005)

On 05/10/2015 at 8:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, a couple asked me donate my eggs so they could start a family. When I refused, I was called heartless by my ex-husband and the woman he cheated on me with for over two years. FML

#21410986
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35487) - you deserved it (2061)

On 05/16/2015 at 1:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, at work, I was about to close a big sale, when a coworker rushed over and said there was a call for me in the office. He heavily implied my mom had died, and I rushed out. After I figured out there was no call and that my mom was fine, he'd already stolen my sale and the commission. FML

#21410601
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34839) - you deserved it (1996)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:58pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Sure, but not yet." As we've been together for five years, I was a bit confused, but she cleared that up with, "Not until your dad has died, I don't want him to ruin my wedding with a bad toast." FML

#21405053
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34542) - you deserved it (2786)

On 05/05/2015 at 10:44am - love - by inheritance (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

#21405064
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33707) - you deserved it (4483)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:13am - intimacy - by baby_trex_arms - United States (California)

Today, I failed a major exam. It wasn't because I didn't prepare for it, though. I failed because somebody sneezed during it and I said "bless you." Apparently, that's classed as cheating. FML

Today, at my house party, I caught my boyfriend having sex with my best friend. His excuse? He wanted to be better in bed for me. FML

#21402521
106 comments

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding at the last moment, because her neurotic sister thinks she's "too fat" to be the maid of honor, and says she needs several months to lose weight. So that's a few thousand dollars wasted. My fiancée says I'm "overreacting" and that I "just don't get it". FML

#21407311
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33238) - you deserved it (2721)

On 05/09/2015 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML

#21406043
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32740) - you deserved it (2105)

On 05/07/2015 at 2:27am - love - by that one anon - United States (California)

Today, I found out why my husband has been coming home from work so late. Turns out he loves to help people. Specifically female people. And by help, I mean sleep with. FML

#21403935
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32681) - you deserved it (2464)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by I pick em' good - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

#21403147
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32611) - you deserved it (3399)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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