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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at my house party, I caught my boyfriend having sex with my best friend. His excuse? He wanted to be better in bed for me. FML

#21402521
102 comments

Today, I failed a major exam. It wasn't because I didn't prepare for it, though. I failed because somebody sneezed during it and I said "bless you." Apparently, that's classed as cheating. FML

Today, my roommate was making a waterproof iPhone case and decided to use my phone to test it out. It didn't work. FML

#21402720
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26470) - you deserved it (3122)

On 05/01/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by Crombinator - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML

#21403055
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26412) - you deserved it (2376)

On 05/01/2015 at 6:57pm - misc - by wtf - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

#21402824
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26345) - you deserved it (5005)

On 05/01/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by why? - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

#21403147
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25329) - you deserved it (2699)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss told me I ask too many questions and that's why they cut my hours in half. Officially, I'm a "Pharmacy Technician in Training", which means I'm trying to teach myself how to do the job without killing someone. All from on the job experience and an outdated textbook. FML

#21402730
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24962) - you deserved it (2119)

On 05/01/2015 at 2:12am - work - by PharmSlave (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML

#21403099
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24802) - you deserved it (1743)

On 05/01/2015 at 8:33pm - health - by I'm just sick, really - United States (Missouri)

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

#21402984
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23668) - you deserved it (2670)

On 05/01/2015 at 4:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

#21402962
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23146) - you deserved it (1846)

On 05/01/2015 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to go to a boring, never-ending "sensitivity training" session, all because my douchebag coworker filed a complaint against me last week after I apologized for being tardy. Apparently I was insulting people with mental disorders. Or as she put it, "differently-abled" people. FML

#21403264
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22730) - you deserved it (2112)

On 05/02/2015 at 4:04am - work - by tumblrinas_at_work (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML

#21403566
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22482) - you deserved it (2078)

On 05/02/2015 at 8:08pm - work - by Jbheller (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22463) - you deserved it (2624)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)



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