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Wednesday 21 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch. I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs, too scared to go down, or even back up, because our stairs creak. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

#20847973
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50546) - you deserved it (6799)

On 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by mykhael (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got rejected for a job because they claimed I faked my entire resume. Their excuse? I'm too pretty to be smart. FML

#20848570
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48702) - you deserved it (4310)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:45pm - work - by baconbxtch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

Today, after I had watched a few videos of myself, I realized the sound of my own voice is the single most annoying thing I have ever heard. FML

#20847659
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44965) - you deserved it (5375)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:08am - misc - by shut_up (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

#20848315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43921) - you deserved it (21614)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43410) - you deserved it (3047)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was told that I looked like a Kardashian by a total stranger. Flattered, I asked which one. His response? "I don't know, the ugly one." FML

#20848594
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41229) - you deserved it (5301)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:00pm - misc - by theuglyone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my girlfriend to play Smash Bros Brawl with me. As it was her first time, I set up handicaps to give her at least a shot at winning. She won, quite handily. A little irritated at this, I took off the handicaps and tried again. She beat me even faster. FML

#20847705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39745) - you deserved it (23672)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:17am - misc - by Loser (man) - United States

Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML

#20848347
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38960) - you deserved it (3491)

On 08/21/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Jade (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I couldn't find my insurance card, and the cop was very nice. He said not to worry about it, that I "looked like someone who had insurance." I'm not sure how to take that. FML

#20847276
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37742) - you deserved it (6724)

On 08/21/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Beegee (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I spent half-an-hour listening to my therapist telling me enthusiastically how people used to communicate telepathically before verbal languages were invented. FML

#20847442
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37229) - you deserved it (3364)

On 08/21/2013 at 3:18am - misc - by verydepressed - Russian Federation (Tomsk)



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