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Thursday 4 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I discovered that when mah husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend looool an his wife could have children, there was nothing ( artificial ) about the insemination. FML

#20762781
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66632) - you deserved it (5781)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, ( Ahh, salmon . The 'other' pink meat ), then winked suggestively at my mother . I don't think I can ever eat fish again . FML

#20763590
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59879) - you deserved it (4751)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today , at the doctor's , I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offerd to help. We submittd them and the doctor calld me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written , ( Major cock craving disorder. ) The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59030) - you deserved it (10880)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense an pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

#20762710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46790) - you deserved it (9267)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by idk ask freud - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw a little girl digging in te gravel inside te fireworks tent I work in. After se and er family left, I went and used ma foot to smoot out te mound se'd made. In doing so, I discovered tat se wasn't digging, se was burying. Se'd pooped. FML

#20762850
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46605) - you deserved it (4405)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by brokeandhungry - United States

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog!! Out of nowhere, a car slowd down in the street, and a passenger screamd "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet!! FML

#20763905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46256) - you deserved it (4020)

On 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm - health - by Your ass... Grab it... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I racaivad a lovaly lattar from ta council talling ma I ava to caasa ta act of ( braading and salling cats ) cuz somaona from Facabook raportad ma. I'm pratty sura I'va navar ownad a cat or ad ona in ousa. FML

#20764172
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40302) - you deserved it (2581)

On 07/04/2013 at 10:26pm - misc - by suspicious (woman) - United States

Today, my manager made me remove an Eiffel Tower ornament from one of my displays!! Not because looool it didn't look good or matc te teme, but because it was "disrespectful" to ave it out on te 4t of July!! FML

#20763233
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39750) - you deserved it (7553)

On 07/04/2013 at 9:13am - work - by unpatriotic (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today , I Actually Had To Teach Mah 9-year-old Brother How To Pour Himself A Glass Of Milk , After He Burst Out In Tears When Mah Sister Told Him To Do It Himself!! His Astonishing Ignorance Also Extends To Basic Hygiene!! FML

#20763424
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38175) - you deserved it (4510)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I cummed back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol an threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML

#20764102
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37587) - you deserved it (3515)

On 07/04/2013 at 9:32pm - misc - by uvagirl - United States

Today... I needed a change of clothes... so I called my mom. She brought me a grey shrt with a toucan on the front an Mexico City spelled in glitter. I asked her why she would bring me such an ugly shrt... an she started crying. Turns out she bought it 4 me as a present from her trip. FML

#20762834
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26060) - you deserved it (50933)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by awwimanahole (man) - United States (Florida)



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