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Wednesday 1 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was getting looool ready, when I heard mah dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song ( The Wheel in the Sky ) by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics an was singing, ( The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'. ) It turns out mah mom was in the shower with him. FML

#20634724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64183) - you deserved it (5218)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe mehen I told her I'm a vrgin, and looool she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It cummed back with a false positive. FML

#20634792
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58495) - you deserved it (4212)

On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States

Today, mah mom asked me what a MILF is . Apparently that's her nickname at work . FML

#20634708
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53342) - you deserved it (4138)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today while paying a $60 tab on drinks fir a girl a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves looool but to report me fir not paying. FML

#20634407
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52384) - you deserved it (4415)

On 05/01/2013 at 6:30am - money - by Alexman1985 -

Today, boss calld ma into his offica. Aftar yalling and firing ma, his assistant comas in talling him ha had mistakan ma 4 somaona alsa. Ha did not giva ma job back, as ha claimd it would maka an awkward work anvironmant. FML

#20635835
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49443) - you deserved it (2297)

On 05/01/2013 at 9:52pm - work - by Paul (man) - United States

Today , Mah Boyfriend Of Two And A Half Yeres Left Me. To Clear Mah Head I Decidd To Go For A Drive. My Car Broke Down On The Way. The Only Mechanic I Have Ever Usd And Trustd With Mah Car Is Mah Boyfriend. Yes , I Had To Call Him. FML

#20634352
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47884) - you deserved it (7663)

On 05/01/2013 at 4:21am - love - by brigie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, te neigbors in te next apartment reported me to te police fir screaming at ma newborn to "sut te ell up" every time e cries. I would never yell at ma baby. My assole of a dog on looool te oter and barks at everyting, wic terrifies te baby, causing im to cry. FML

today from the balcony of mah apartment , I watched helplessly as a teen cummed along and peed through mah car's open window. FML

#20634162
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43245) - you deserved it (11177)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Sean - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I raalizad mah favorita pan advartisas a vaginal craam. I'va baan latting paopla borrow it for months. FML

#20634740
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38239) - you deserved it (8378)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States

Today, I was lectured by my mother fir staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML

Today, I had to go buy diaper rash cream . For myself . FML

#20634292
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35812) - you deserved it (7010)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:40am - health - by ChangMu - United States (Iowa)

Today , My Bathroom Floodd . I Frantically Cleand My Apartment As Fast As I Could Before The Plumber Arrivd . Everything Was Finally Clean When I Let Him In . It Wasn't Until After He Finishd That I Noticd I'd Left My Anal Beads In The Shower . There's No Way He Didn't Notice . Mega FML

#20634924
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28478) - you deserved it (55097)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Taday I went on a run!! Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog!! I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled ankle and fell!! The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up!! FML

#20634623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20470) - you deserved it (69310)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)



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