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Today, I waited in line at a drive-through behind a man for ten minutes. I got out of my car, cursed at him, and then asked him to give me one good reason why it would take that long to order. The man slowly explained to me that he had a stutter. FML

#10903041
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11448) - you deserved it (126909)

On 06/01/2010 at 5:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML

#1101827
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14087) - you deserved it (126260)

On 04/18/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by asdfghjkl (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mistress called my wife on the phone. FML

#524
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8559) - you deserved it (126127)

On 12/16/2008 at 12:20am - misc - by surfdown - Sent from mobile version

Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had brought her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the adderall they found in my desk. FML

#1021552
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26673) - you deserved it (126022)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by hatetheroommate (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML

#19066381
442 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10956) - you deserved it (125717)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home at 1am this morning from a friend's birthday party. I'm 30 years old. FML

#506231
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65023) - you deserved it (125146)

On 03/21/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by soliveyerlife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

#456719
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17650) - you deserved it (124485)

On 03/18/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by its_all_legit - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847
382 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10713) - you deserved it (124179)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my friend and I were filming football practice and talking about what guys on the team were attractive and who we would want to get it on with. We didn't realize that the camera was recording everything that we said. The tape was played to the entire team the next day. With sound. FML

#600956
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25820) - you deserved it (123755)

On 03/25/2009 at 3:31pm - misc - by Lady_Luck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15049) - you deserved it (123582)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML

#4105685
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9253) - you deserved it (122352)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by idiot (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

#17367544
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10160) - you deserved it (122271)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm - money - by Joe - United States (Florida)



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