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Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. This was after I saved several paychecks to afford to give her a weekend away for her birthday. Why did she end things so quick? Because apparently I'm balding faster than her Dad. I'm 20. FML

#7806645
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27040) - you deserved it (2198)

On 02/02/2010 at 2:34am - love - by BaldingQuick (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my mother-in-law told my husband that I cannot stay in her house unless I can bring proof from a doctor that my allergy to cats is not contagious. FML

#17612876
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27651) - you deserved it (2198)

On 08/29/2011 at 2:47pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML

Today, I got ready to stay over at my boyfriend's house. I brought food, new lingerie, and I got a bikini wax. I did stay overnight, but I was holding a bucket for him because he had gastroenteritis. FML

#550
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20777) - you deserved it (2197)

On 12/19/2008 at 12:41am - love - by Carla J. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was ringing a lady up at the register. I noticed her son was doing the peepee dance, so I rushed the payment process up and handed her the receipt. The little boy says "Mommy" and the mom looks down, then back up at me saying, "Your problem now" and walks out. The boy peed on the floor. FML

#1309415
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52894) - you deserved it (2197)

On 04/25/2009 at 12:35am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I played a Jazz gig. It rained, making the tent the band performed under heavy with water. When I stepped forward to play my solo, the front end of the tent collapsed under the weight of the rain, drenching me. FML

#17617354
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22382) - you deserved it (2197)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by TheJazzKid - United States (California)

Today, over a year on from my parents telling me my dog had died, I went to the shelter to volunteer, and saw my old dog. FML

#17534903
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45832) - you deserved it (2197)

On 08/21/2011 at 1:51am - animals - by Dogless - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML

#18528339
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24949) - you deserved it (2197)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:16pm - money - by Cano951 - United States

Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML

#20581005
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41317) - you deserved it (2197)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to find my garage broken into and my car covered in paint and with the words "F*** you". Why? I broke up with my ex because she cheated on me and stole money off me and my mom. Apparently this wasn't a good enough excuse to break her up with her. FML

#6229163
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34453) - you deserved it (2196)

On 11/09/2009 at 3:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23849) - you deserved it (2196)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandma bought me a cemetery plot for my birthday. If that's not weird enough, it's about a 2 mile walk from where the rest of my family will be buried. FML

#12360935
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30707) - you deserved it (2196)

On 08/06/2010 at 10:22pm - misc - by sicufovoshxbsjdk - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML

#6217928
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38195) - you deserved it (2195)

On 11/08/2009 at 8:27pm - love - by toughlove (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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