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Today, I had to explain to this really intimidating girl that I wasn't giving her a dirty look, and that it was just my face at rest. FML

by Emily / 02/07/2012 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML

by cero_kewl / 03/05/2012 at 12:12am / United States / Work

Today, a therapist told me that I was too depressed to attend his depression group meetings. FML

by Sad Sally / 04/24/2012 at 7:22am / United States / Health

Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML

by Gahh... / 12/03/2012 at 12:18am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML

by hotelbound / 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents grounded me for being "addicted" to drugs because I've been taking pain meds every four hours. I had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday, and my face is badly swollen. FML

by lauren_crewd / 11/23/2013 at 6:56pm / United States (Alabama) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my fiancé and his family accused me of being with him only because he's rich, refusing to go ahead with the wedding. I accepted his marriage proposal 4 years ago, when he was penniless and unemployed. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2015 at 10:10am / India (Tamil Nadu) / Love

Today, I got a nose piercing. I was asleep at the time in my backyard, and the piercer was a snake. FML

Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML

by N1ch0la1 / 08/08/2009 at 5:35am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Animals

Today, I realized my soon to be ex wife is stalking me online. Everytime I block her she creates a new profile. She left me 9 months ago. FML

by bubbashrek / 08/28/2011 at 12:06am / United States / Love

Today, I went to a movie and a dinner with a girl. During dinner, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, so I checked my social media feeds while waiting for her to return. She'd posted on her twitter "Worst. Ever." I thought it was going well. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 4:56pm / United States / Love

Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML

by Chansus10 / 10/20/2014 at 11:03am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my husband told me he cheated on me two years ago with his ex-fiancée. In the process, he got her pregnant, but said it was okay, because she didn't keep it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 9:23pm / United States (California) / Love