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Today, my boyfriend sent me a screenshot of his phone's contact list, to show me the adorable photo of us he'd set as my contact image. I guess he didn't realize that a contact called "Side Babe" was just barely in the screenshot too. FML

#21325257
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38821) - you deserved it (2822)

On 12/27/2014 at 11:54am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML

#6431764
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26993) - you deserved it (2821)

On 11/24/2009 at 1:00am - health - by blowinchunks (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML

#20543737
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38282) - you deserved it (2821)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by grandson of a p.o.s. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandmother came to visit and asked me, "Did you change your hair, or are you just fatter now?" FML

#21406084
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28637) - you deserved it (2821)

On 05/07/2015 at 7:01am - misc - by Chubby (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was 2, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML

#7835158
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33413) - you deserved it (2820)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:03am - animals - by Brittany (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the horn in my car decided to malfunction. It honked continuously for an hour as I drove down the highway. FML

#14315930
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28615) - you deserved it (2820)

On 12/23/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by nick (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered after four hours of vomiting that it is very much possible to vomit so hard you can't help but shit in your trousers. My boyfriend is currently staying over, too. FML

#14458988
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28375) - you deserved it (2820)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, whilst on a phone interview with a college I really want to go to, my mother picks up the other line and shouts into the phone "She's not going to college, she's lazy and she'll only disappoint you." The interviewer hung up before I could say anything. FML

#20508072
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42291) - you deserved it (2820)

On 02/15/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by parentalissues (woman) - United States

Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML

#20737057
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42292) - you deserved it (2820)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by whoriblemomindeed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

#21350938
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29936) - you deserved it (2820)

On 02/06/2015 at 1:51pm - misc - by valarmorgoolies (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said "girls don't wear deodorant". He actually believed that. FML

#21428525
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27666) - you deserved it (2820)

On 06/19/2015 at 10:47am - health - by stanky - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's my birthday. I came downstairs to a cake that said "Happy 8th Birthday Bella!" My name is Sarah and I'm 16. Bella is our dog whose birthday is next month. FML

#17163751
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38215) - you deserved it (2819)

On 07/18/2011 at 2:05pm - animals - by unbirthday (woman) - United States

Today, it was my first time taking blood on the ward. The doctor saw that I was nervous and gave me a violent old man with schizophrenia who thought I was there to kill him. FML



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