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Today, the main topic for my sister and her friends in the car was how many ways they could think of to kill me. They came up with 137. I have to spend a week with these people. FML

#18279244
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26956) - you deserved it (2503)

On 11/18/2011 at 4:01am - health - by xattackattackx - United States (Hawaii)

Today, it was confirmed that the "no pet rule" in my apartment complex is so strict that I'm not even allowed to have sea monkeys. FML

#19561558
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23628) - you deserved it (2503)

On 05/01/2012 at 11:59pm - animals - by Monkeyless (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boss claimed that I've been lying to get days off because apparently nobody can be so unlucky as to have three family members die within a month. I am just that unlucky, and suspended. FML

#20969727
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50220) - you deserved it (2503)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:03am - work - by unemployed and bereaved (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML

#21406274
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28645) - you deserved it (2503)

On 05/07/2015 at 3:52pm - misc - by Random737193 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I held a presentation about my masters thesis. Turns out, my professor never ever actually read the drafts I'd given him, but decided to rip me to pieces in front of everyone, saying that the topic isn't worth researching. I've been working on it for six months. FML

#14128873
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33954) - you deserved it (2502)

On 12/08/2010 at 5:30am - work - by nograd4mee (woman) - Germany

Today, I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent the first quarter of an hour neither grieving nor celebrating her life, but whining that the "cute" clothes my aunt was dressed in could have been handed down to her, instead of being "wasted". FML

Today, three girls introduced themselves to me. I had met all of them before. FML

#2788
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27173) - you deserved it (2501)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:24am - love - by aere - United States (California)

Today, at the water park, my grandmother's boob slipped out. Every time I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind. FML

#20029280
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28950) - you deserved it (2501)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:25am - misc - by JMG - United States

Today, my younger sister stopped talking to me. I got engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years and apparently, she's been in love with him since she met him. Through me. She's 12. FML

#21380050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34672) - you deserved it (2501)

On 03/23/2015 at 10:24am - love - by twelvie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. We all looked together at family photos on the computer. The first picture was a close up of my mother, bare breasts in full view. FML

#417
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30725) - you deserved it (2500)

On 11/29/2008 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Rosies - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML

#5744941
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37715) - you deserved it (2500)

On 10/09/2009 at 6:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML

#7423840
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28464) - you deserved it (2500)

On 01/18/2010 at 7:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

#21399378
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31244) - you deserved it (2500)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:34am - love - by a critically injured shitehawk (man) - United Kingdom (York)



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