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Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom". That's how he put it, anyway. FML

#19183355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29733) - you deserved it (2248)

On 02/28/2012 at 5:04pm - love - by salt. - United States (Ohio)

Today, my drunk mother got into a fight with the lady at Krystal burger. Why? "Because the bitch said they aren't making special orders." FML

#8085656
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20633) - you deserved it (2247)

On 02/10/2010 at 10:10am - misc - by Krit - United States

Today, I informed my family of my plans to divorce my wife after catching her cheating on me twice. They bitched me out because I will not be able to survive financially or emotionally without her support. I'm a doctor. She's been unemployed for 2 straight years. FML

#17444027
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37702) - you deserved it (2247)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:46pm - love - by Matt - United States (Ohio)

Today, my landlord compared me to his idiot son for not plunging a toilet. This is the same toilet he explicitly told me not to plunge last week, because of a possible leak into the basement. We have been peeing outside for a week waiting on him. FML

#17996860
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25229) - you deserved it (2247)

On 10/16/2011 at 8:47am - misc - by Carl - United States (Kansas)

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

#19587881
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23618) - you deserved it (2247)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:43pm - kids - by lon01t (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole. It was the most bonding experience we have ever had. FML

#19566407
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20218) - you deserved it (2247)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML

#19640596
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28111) - you deserved it (2247)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:22am - animals - by nick - United States

Today, I found out that I was denied for work study eligibility by my college. I went to my financial advisor to ask why. It wasn't my grades or attendance. Apparently my father makes too much money for me to get a job at the school. My dad was fired 3 months ago and has been out of work since. FML

#5096534
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39185) - you deserved it (2246)

On 09/07/2009 at 1:04am - work - by SapphireRaven (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the doctors and was told I would need an inhaler. My mom came back from the pharmacy and told me the copay of $35 dollars was way too expensive, so she is making me use my cat's old inhaler. My mom values my cat's ability to breathe more then my own. FML

#5627700
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36227) - you deserved it (2246)

On 10/03/2009 at 7:17pm - misc - by juliasaman - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered that my mom and her disgusting mess of a boyfriend refer to his penis as "the monkey." And she says that I hate him because I'M immature. FML

#7565920
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17995) - you deserved it (2246)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:32am - intimacy - by emergency (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML

#8554799
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31232) - you deserved it (2246)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:32pm - health - by mynoseburns (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

#8365042
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22002) - you deserved it (2246)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:40am - intimacy - by thatssickkk - United States (California)



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