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Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

#17027356
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40128) - you deserved it (2402) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 11:46am - health - by Anonymous - Belgium (Liege)

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

#20199452
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23494) - you deserved it (2402)

On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States

Today, my sister came out of the closet. By which I mean she came out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML

#21365896
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36606) - you deserved it (2402)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being insecure and feeling threatened by the fact that she has a daughter from a previous relationship. She's vaguely right; I feel threatened, but mainly because the psycho keeps threatening to stab me to death when her mom isn't around to hear. FML

#21334989
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31900) - you deserved it (2402)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:03am - kids - by StabStab (man) - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him getting it on with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML

#2506
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34652) - you deserved it (2401)

On 01/25/2009 at 8:07am - love - by theamericandream - United States (Illinois)

Today, after holding it in for hours, I finally managed to run to the bathroom for a pee. I thought it was impossible for rats to climb up the sewer pipes and into the toilet, but apparently I was wrong. FML

#18192690
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32326) - you deserved it (2401)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out about my old school's class reunion, which I wasn't invited to. Everyone has my number and e-mail address. They just "forgot" to tell me. FML

#19448079
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19947) - you deserved it (2401)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Girl-with-the-glasses (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

#19999925
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30899) - you deserved it (2401)

On 08/03/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from an angry parent telling me that I'm teaching her son and the other children in the class "wrong philosophies". This was all because I explained to the class that Michigan is divided into two parts. FML

#20930470
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36685) - you deserved it (2401)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML

#21347235
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29359) - you deserved it (2401)

On 01/31/2015 at 10:08am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML

#21340122
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37057) - you deserved it (2401)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML

#13786
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34223) - you deserved it (2400)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by max (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML

#8366162
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24667) - you deserved it (2400)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by unfortunate419 (man) - United States (Illinois)



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