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Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41919) - you deserved it (2522)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was at the doctors getting a pap smear and she asked if it was alright if a doctor in training could come in to observe. I was already laying on the table with my feet in the stirups so everything was in plain sight. When the man came in to observe I looked up to see my brother in law. FML

#4161962
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48596) - you deserved it (2521)

On 07/30/2009 at 1:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML

#17817623
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26336) - you deserved it (2521)

On 09/24/2011 at 12:40am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

#21365302
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25829) - you deserved it (2521)

On 02/28/2015 at 2:53pm - misc - by jojolee68 (woman) - United States

Today, as a reward for finishing all my work in maths, I was told I could leave early. Apparently, later on, the class had a random attendance inspection. I didn't know about this until I received a detention for not being present at that class. My teacher had completely forgotten about me. FML

Today, I was at a concert and an older man offered to let me stand in front of him because I'm short. It wasn't until the show started and people were jumping around did I realize he had a boner and was repeatedly bumping into me. FML

#8765268
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22527) - you deserved it (2520)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Lin - United States (California)

Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML

#18612285
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30495) - you deserved it (2520)

On 12/25/2011 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML

#21318154
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30459) - you deserved it (2520)

On 12/15/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by period_probs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that the weird lump on my eye is benign. That would be great news but they aren't going to treat it at all. Now I look like I'm high all the time. FML

#16016823
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23717) - you deserved it (2519)

On 05/02/2011 at 6:58am - health - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went into a public bathroom and walked in on a guy checking his butt out in the mirror to see if he'd wiped properly. FML

#17541030
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31674) - you deserved it (2519)

On 08/21/2011 at 8:03pm - misc - by Bobby ray slice - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML

#20059533
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24839) - you deserved it (2519)

On 09/05/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

#20091945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32789) - you deserved it (2519)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States

Today, a stranger was kind enough to plow my driveway during a blizzard. However, they were not kind enough to leave their number after plowing the front end of my car. FML

#20431369
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28848) - you deserved it (2519)

On 12/30/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by imcold - United States



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