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Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML

by Holding / 08/24/2013 at 1:21am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2013 at 2:18am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I have to make a decision. I either drive my dad around during the day so he can drink, or I let him drink and drive so I can focus on studying for my exams. FML

by problems / 10/18/2014 at 11:03pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my room to find my roommate's boyfriend trying on one of my pink, lacy bras. My roommate then yelled at me for coming home early. FML

by FreakinthePink / 12/06/2010 at 2:20am / Intimacy

Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2010 at 8:15am / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the eye doctor. For the past three days every time I wear my glasses I become nauseous, get migraines, and have that "fish-eye view" where everything is rounded. Turns out they placed my lenses on the wrong sides. FML

by l0stnwundrland / 01/24/2011 at 3:01am / United States / Health

Today, after being terrified for years, I went on a plane for the first time. It was also the first time I "emergency landed." FML

by Alyssa Charlotte / 07/28/2011 at 10:25pm / Mexico / Transportation

Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML

by kat / 02/21/2012 at 4:53am / Reserved / Work

Today, working in a department store, I spent at least 30 minutes helping a verbally abusive elderly woman in a wheelchair find an appropriate jacket for winter. She finally asked me to retrieve one she wanted in her size. When I returned she was in deep sleep, snoring and all. FML

by Not impressed. / 11/19/2013 at 12:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2014 at 1:15pm / Japan (Hyogo) / Kids

Today, my younger sister ran into my room, telling me someone was trying to break in. We were home alone, so she went to hide as I took a crowbar and followed the intruder. Just as I was about to swing, he turned around: it was my dad. I had to explain to my sister that burglars don't have keys. FML

Today, I managed to throw my back out by blowing my nose. FML

by Hlaalette / 05/13/2015 at 9:57am / Belgium / Health

Today, was very chilly. My little sister felt sorry for my two goldfish swimming in the cold water. She decided to put them in hot water. They died. FML

by PoachedFish / 12/29/2009 at 5:57am / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Animals