Choose the period

Choose a category

Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML

by thyisnothorses / 04/28/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

by ironyisabitch / 06/02/2012 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new creative writing teacher informed the class that we should consult him before writing anything "dark or disturbing." I only took the class because my therapist recommended that I join the class so I could freely express my darker thoughts without her help or a fear of being judged. FML

by depressed / 09/03/2013 at 5:43pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, while helping my aunts with a garage sale, I sold a relish tray that looked like my mothers. When I put stuff away, I found items of my mothers tagged. Turns out, instead of holding onto my dead mother's items for me until I can store them, they've been selling them at discount prices. FML

by buysavings / 09/20/2009 at 9:22pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I didn't get promoted, but the guy who showed up to work drunk a few weeks ago did. FML

by Hmmwtf / 12/10/2009 at 5:38am / Australia (Tasmania) / Work

Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML

by dck128 / 08/29/2011 at 6:05pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2014 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML

by addie / 03/03/2013 at 3:27am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I have to make a decision. I either drive my dad around during the day so he can drink, or I let him drink and drive so I can focus on studying for my exams. FML

by problems / 10/18/2014 at 11:03pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I managed to throw my back out by blowing my nose. FML

by Hlaalette / 05/13/2015 at 9:57am / Belgium / Health

Today, there was an earthquake. Good news: the only damage was a tree fell on some loser's car. Bad news: that loser was me. FML

by Jo / 10/25/2009 at 11:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous