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Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML

#19437878
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30845) - you deserved it (2847)

On 04/09/2012 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Madeline Lee (woman) - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML

#20513351
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31742) - you deserved it (2847)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

#20837266
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45846) - you deserved it (2847)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML

#21304373
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30653) - you deserved it (2847)

On 11/23/2014 at 7:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that instead of discarding expired products at my work, we change the label to make them 'expire' later. FML

#7099062
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31337) - you deserved it (2846)

On 01/02/2010 at 3:26am - work - by Labelme (woman) - United States

Today, I have a rash all over my face because yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, I am allergic to the something in the tissues with which I was blowing my nose and wiping away my tears. FML

#8916376
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32933) - you deserved it (2846)

On 03/08/2010 at 9:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, an aunt that I'd had a massive falling out with passed away. My entire extended family refuses to speak to me, because they think I "had something to do with it". I live several hundred miles from her. FML

#15272926
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31433) - you deserved it (2846)

On 03/11/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by ieatoreos -

Today, my little brother went through all the artistic anatomy reference books and colored in all the nipples and penises with a bright pink sharpie. These books were from the library. FML

#18957870
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24890) - you deserved it (2846)

On 01/31/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned that it doesn't matter how good you've screwed a satellite dish onto the side of your house, it won't stop the wind the ripping it off and taking half the wall with it. FML

#19143991
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23597) - you deserved it (2846)

On 02/23/2012 at 2:03am - misc - by Blueshock08 - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

#20859797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41846) - you deserved it (2846)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:11am - work - by Parental Support - United States (Maryland)

Today, and for the fifth week in a row, my dad has been moping around and acting pissy about everything because his psycho girlfriend won't talk to him. He now claims his life is over. I'm being raised by a teenage girl. FML

Today, I disproved a scientific theory created by my supervisor. He was furious and said that I shouldn't have tried to disprove him. He told me to continue working with his theory and now he threatens to fire me if I publish my work. FML

#21378331
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32921) - you deserved it (2846)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:38am - work - by ZG_Rules (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, my mom asked if I wanted to come to dinner with my parents and my grandparents who are in from London. When we got to the restaurant, there was a wait. My mom made me walk home because they could get a table quicker for a group of four than a group of five. FML

#1792856
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66787) - you deserved it (2845)

On 05/09/2009 at 9:48pm - misc - by charlie (woman) - United States (Delaware)



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