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Today, after being kept awake all night by my house-mate and his girlfriend, they woke me at the crack of dawn to apologize for being so loud. FML

#17394740
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27950) - you deserved it (2284)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Username - Reserved

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

#18876048
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38230) - you deserved it (2284)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by text at 1:30 am because he didn't want to give me "the dread of answering a phone call." When I asked him for an explanation, his reply was, "For what?" FML

#19039937
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22650) - you deserved it (2284)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:59am - love - by 1.30am (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

#19999925
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29394) - you deserved it (2285)

On 08/03/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to drive to my workplace in blizzard conditions. Now that my 12 hour shift is over, I can't get out of the building, as the snow has blown into large drifts in front of the doors. I have to stay overnight until my next 12 hour shift. FML

Today, a fly got stuck up my nose while I was giving a speech. FML

Today, I went to get some teeth pulled. I had Novocaine in my gums and lip so I couldn't feel a thing. When the doctor is pulling out the last tooth, he sneezes and pulls the tooth out. He looks in my mouth and I hear, "Oh, shit..." I now have stitches in my mouth. FML

#1123097
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55286) - you deserved it (2282)

On 04/19/2009 at 4:48pm - health - by TT (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I slipped walking down the stairs. My mom thought I sprained my right ankle. In her haste to get me to the doctor, she grabbed me and accidentally tripped me. I broke my left ankle. The right one was fine. FML

#4886431
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38188) - you deserved it (2282)

On 08/28/2009 at 4:59pm - health - by dannyfanny (man) - United States (California)

Today, a patient at the hospital I work at had a tracheal tube and couldn't speak. I'm unable to read lips, but I'm pretty sure he was mouthing the words 'stupid bitch' every time I tried to stop him from pulling out his IV. FML

#14642325
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20729) - you deserved it (2282)

On 01/19/2011 at 7:52pm - work - by sirenmario -

Today, my sister posted on her Facebook that she hates moving because of all of the packing that she and my family have to do. I didn't even know we're moving. FML

#20510343
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29724) - you deserved it (2282)

On 02/17/2013 at 2:38am - misc - by left-out - United States

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I went to the ER for severe pain in my abdominal area. The doctor comes in after looking at the CT scan and says, "Well it's not your appendix." Thinking I'm in the clear I say, "That's Awesome", the doctor then responded with "It's probably your testicles." FML

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

#6753136
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36891) - you deserved it (2281)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States



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