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Today, I asked my dad why we didn't have any baby pictures. His response was, "They got lost in the flood of '93." I was born in '95. FML

#21314190
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31262) - you deserved it (2413)

On 12/09/2014 at 12:45am - misc - by mn167109 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss sent me a text message saying, "You're fired. Merry Christmas!" FML

#21323895
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31473) - you deserved it (2413)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:25am - work - by CalebNotShomo - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML

#2472
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17501) - you deserved it (2412)

On 01/24/2009 at 6:28pm - misc - by Teen - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML

#8887792
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37157) - you deserved it (2412)

On 03/07/2010 at 5:27am - misc - by notamathematician (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML

#17093832
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27543) - you deserved it (2412)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:26pm - misc - by MIB (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML

#17493123
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29806) - you deserved it (2412)

On 08/16/2011 at 8:05pm - kids - by Awesome (woman) - Russian Federation

Today, my professor called me out in the middle of a lecture to ask why I was bleeding. I then had to explain to him, in front of around one hundred of my fellow classmates, that my largest zit had burst. FML

#19367861
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23550) - you deserved it (2412)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Jayne - United States

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

#21311698
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28033) - you deserved it (2412)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:29pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a woman accuse me of trying to steal her husband over the phone, just because I called and asked for him. I'm an interviewer. FML

#17119657
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26557) - you deserved it (2411)

On 07/15/2011 at 7:38am - work - by TabbiNicole - United States

Today, a fly got stuck up my nose while I was giving a speech. FML

Today, I was pulled over for going the wrong way on a closed highway. The construction signs pointed me in that direction, and the cop agreed that they should be fixed. Did it stop him from giving me a ticket anyway? Nope. FML

#18096005
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31994) - you deserved it (2411)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:59am - misc - by ashleyyyy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got into an argument with my mom over her sexist, emotionally-abusive boyfriend. I told her that either he goes or I go. She called me a disrespectful bastard for not respecting my "new father." I'm now sitting outside a McDonald's with my suitcase, leeching their WiFi. FML

#20063189
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32756) - you deserved it (2411)

On 09/08/2012 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a cute girl's number for the first time. Too bad it was because she rear ended my car. FML

#21344494
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25141) - you deserved it (2411)

On 01/26/2015 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonomous - Canada (Ontario)



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