Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26111) - you deserved it (2332)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, I found out why it might be awkward to have your plumber and your least well-behaved dog share a name. Bad plumber. FML

#20100991
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18160) - you deserved it (2332)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:20am - animals - by acme - Israel

Today, I found out the person who's been stalking and harassing me online was actually my now ex-boyfriend. He only confessed as I finally picked up the phone to report it to the police. He basically said he wanted me to turn to him for comfort and protection, so he could "feel like a man". FML

#21323138
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30678) - you deserved it (2330)

On 12/24/2014 at 7:03am - misc - by jflac (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the guy I've been dating texted me to say he joined an online dating site. He must have thought I was the best person to share this information with. FML

#6145417
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25818) - you deserved it (2329)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, some of my classmates brought cupcakes to celebrate my birthday. I took the leftovers with me after class, and when my mom picked me up from school, she asked, "What are the cupcakes for?" FML

#14542119
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29611) - you deserved it (2329)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by bdayboy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my husband and my cat have something in common; they both like to lick themselves. FML

#19812201
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21579) - you deserved it (2329)

On 06/19/2012 at 6:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

#20071176
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36613) - you deserved it (2329)

On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got locked out of my car for an hour in frigid weather at a busy gas station. Every time I tried to use the key, the alarm went off and the locks wouldn't work. The car company claims they've never heard of this happening. I just bought it last week after taking out a 5 year loan. FML

#20513495
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25932) - you deserved it (2329)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML

#20568650
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35271) - you deserved it (2329)

On 03/31/2013 at 4:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mother and I were driving through Del Taco. Instead of ordering "Macho Diet Coke", she said "Macho Diet Cock". After correcting herself and pulling up to the window, the employee who goes to my high school gave her the drink and his phone number. FML

#7898835
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23504) - you deserved it (2328)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:52am - misc - by MachoFluster (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML

#10539728
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23907) - you deserved it (2328)

On 05/15/2010 at 1:09am - health - by bitten (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mum read a forwarded email, and is now convinced that eating processed food will make my ovaries shrink and disappear. Now she goes batshit crazy if she sees me eating potato chips. FML

#18684418
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22593) - you deserved it (2328)

On 01/02/2012 at 7:18am - health - by sohungry (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was rushed to the ER due to a very swollen foot and high fever. The doctors said I just have a tissue infection but my parents believe I have a flesh eating disease. I can hear them discussing my future with an amputated leg. FML

#20652691
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43088) - you deserved it (2328)

On 05/09/2013 at 7:18pm - health - by iLikeMyLegs - Canada (Ontario)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: