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Today, this guy I have a huge crush on came with me to my house to study. I was warmly welcomed by my drunken mother laying naked on the floor. FML

#14779228
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37787) - you deserved it (2881)

On 01/30/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by madelynn (woman) - United States

Today, I was eating lunch out side with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

#6795519
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34716) - you deserved it (2880)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:43pm - animals - by ollierocks96 - United States (Florida)

Today, like all days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice; but today he decided to bring this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family 'brave' enough to go fetch our cat's gift. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

#8309732
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26137) - you deserved it (2880)

On 02/15/2010 at 7:08pm - animals - by Mary (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I saw my boyfriend of two years had joined a group on facebook called 'Guys who are proud of their girlfriends'. I smiled and was about to like it when I noticed a comment below from a girl saying "Awww thanks babe :) xxxx". FML

#8713394
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40626) - you deserved it (2880)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:10am - love - by FBfail (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

#17823429
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56609) - you deserved it (2880)

On 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after working for over ten years at a dead-end factory line, I told my friends I was going to take some business courses and land myself a real job. All they've done since is laugh, mock me, and say that if Clinton couldn't fix the economy, I have no chance. FML

#18350562
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23857) - you deserved it (2880)

On 11/25/2011 at 8:37pm - work - by workworkwork - United States (Florida)

Today, I caught a coworker at my new job staring at my chest. Trying not to rock the boat, I took him aside and asked him to stop. He insisted he was just trying to read my shirt. Our company uniforms don't have writing on them. FML

#19728226
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25528) - you deserved it (2880)

On 06/03/2012 at 6:41pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML

#20063555
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22342) - you deserved it (2880)

On 09/08/2012 at 6:39pm - work - by me - United States

Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML

#19981666
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26677) - you deserved it (2880)

On 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm - kids - by Jessi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML

#20519879
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44284) - you deserved it (2880)

On 02/24/2013 at 6:17am - animals - by incendiaaa (woman) - Australia

Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML

#21505784
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18914) - you deserved it (2880)

On 12/20/2015 at 8:26am - love - by mikmak - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38545) - you deserved it (2879)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

#18657725
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26245) - you deserved it (2879)

On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States



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