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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I finished a fence around my house that I have been working on all week. About an hour after I finished, a water company truck pulled into my driveway. They told me they would have to take down my fence to make repairs on a water pipe. FML

#3854269
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47441) - you deserved it (3031)

On 07/18/2009 at 10:23am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I visited my friend in a nasty part of town. When I saw the shattered window of the car next to me, and the missing stereo, I moved my car to a safer location. Luckily, though, I have a common car, so the thieves were able to jimmy the lock and steal my stereo without making any noise. FML

#8712450
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23989) - you deserved it (3031)

On 02/28/2010 at 5:51am - money - by unsurprised (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML

#17078615
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32204) - you deserved it (3031)

On 07/12/2011 at 9:34am - misc - by Ghettogirl4life - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

Today, after working at my job for months, I quit. Why? My boss tried to convince me that we are in a secret relationship after he told me he loved me. FML

#20751768
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45716) - you deserved it (3031)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:23am - work - by unknown relationship - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out I'm balding faster than my dad. I'm 19. FML

#3768794
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55827) - you deserved it (3030)

On 07/15/2009 at 4:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML

#14545580
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37014) - you deserved it (3030)

On 01/11/2011 at 1:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by sending me a text. She was sitting right beside me on a 10 hour car trip, and there was still 6 more hours to go. FML

#14104708
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38496) - you deserved it (3030)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my brother had a party with over 60 people in my basement. It turns out that five different couples had sex under the same comforter. The comforter was mine. FML

#19923012
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35167) - you deserved it (3030)

On 07/11/2012 at 9:29am - intimacy - by Sherry - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML

#20397555
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24359) - you deserved it (3030)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:01am - love - by Hit-and-Run - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML

#21419164
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37368) - you deserved it (3030)

On 06/01/2015 at 2:14pm - misc - by kash (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend furiously bitched me out because I got more upset about my phone screen cracking than when she told me about the death of her cat. We hadn't even met when her cat died. Did she expect me to burst into tears from hearing the story? Guess who's single again! FML

#21510107
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21843) - you deserved it (3030)

On 01/01/2016 at 5:33am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the two and a half hours it took our poorly air conditioned taxi to go 20 miles in stop-and-go traffic was highlighted by our son projectile vomiting all over my wife, a suitcase, and the car. It ended with me having to pay both for the ride, as well as for cleaning the inside of the taxi. FML

#3834940
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39584) - you deserved it (3029)

On 07/17/2009 at 4:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)



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