Choose the period

Choose a category

Today, I had to give a 63 year old man a shot. He started bawling before I even brought out the needle. I tried to get him calm down. Then he grabbed the needle, threw it at me and ran out the door. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML

by ohbiebjetaime / 06/30/2012 at 4:09pm / France / Love

Today, I had to proof-read a terrible paper containing a bunch of mistakes. It took me 4 hours and I didn't eat dinner until I was done. His response when he got it back was, "What the fuck did you do to my paper?! You bitch!" FML

by pissed_off_girl / 03/31/2013 at 10:59pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, the family computer's 15-year-old CRT monitor which gives me headaches finally stopped working. My dad quickly found a replacement: an even older CRT monitor that gives me worse headaches. FML

by has an old monitor / 12/05/2014 at 9:00am / Germany (Berlin) / Geek

Today, I started having chest pains and shortness of breath. I thought I was having a heart attack and I asked my husband to take me to the hospital. He told me to wait because he'd just ordered a pizza. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2015 at 8:27am / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

Today, thanks to my brilliant hairstylist, I ended up with a brand new haircut, which I like to call the "Bowler hat-and-Spaghetti" cut. FML

by AtikaSucks / 02/28/2010 at 2:00pm / Tunisia / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered my mother went into the local pub where I work part time, got very drunk, and flashed her boobs at everyone. I found out when a picture was posted on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2011 at 9:13am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

by all5fingers / 09/08/2011 at 1:23am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, a little kid accidentally ran into me at the pool. He apologized by biting my leg. FML

by adeeri / 09/03/2014 at 9:24pm / United States (Wyoming) / Kids

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years had proposed to his ex a few days behind and she had declined. FML

by silverlocket / 12/05/2009 at 3:21pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I noticed that my wife changed her status on Facebook to "widow" and a lot of strange guys commented saying stuff like "Finally." Last I checked, I'm not dead. FML

by Alex / 10/07/2010 at 6:10am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I was set up on a blind date. When I arrived, the person waiting for me was a woman. It appears that my friends have always thought I was a lesbian, and that they 'played along' when I talked about guys. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2011 at 2:56am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, while riding back from a weekend away with my boyfriend, we crashed his motorbike, resulting in us getting thrown over a barbed wire fence into a forest. I woke up in hospital. Apparently, in his adrenaline rush, he climbed back on his bike and continued his trip, forgetting all about me. FML

by superficialheart / 01/21/2012 at 6:59am / China / Transportation