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Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML

#18188542
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33101) - you deserved it (2722)

On 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by lprocter1982 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25948) - you deserved it (2722)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

#18904057
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31298) - you deserved it (2722)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)

Today, I decided to help the homeless by giving them old clothes and food. In return, they decided to mug me. FML

#20008267
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22767) - you deserved it (2722)

On 08/07/2012 at 7:45pm - misc - by HazzaBoo - United States

Today, while cleaning tables at the fast food place where I work, I had to remove two human teeth from a table top. FML

#20897664
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37719) - you deserved it (2722)

On 09/27/2013 at 2:04am - work - by pancakessdsjsn - United States (California)

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

#21293180
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33381) - you deserved it (2722)

On 11/06/2014 at 1:53am - work - by HelpMe1 (man) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)

Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML

#5813153
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34190) - you deserved it (2721)

On 10/13/2009 at 7:07am - love - by quietsleeper (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, when I got to work, I found out that I was being laid off. Two hours later, I found out my boss had my name on the wrong list. I was elated. I went to lunch, and on the way back was rear ended in the rain. I was an hour and a half late getting back to work. I was fired upon returning. FML

#5568321
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37551) - you deserved it (2721)

On 09/30/2009 at 5:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

#8680968
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22430) - you deserved it (2721)

On 02/27/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML

#13415843
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24920) - you deserved it (2721)

On 10/12/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, Dell's tech support called to tell me that the laptop I sent to them was going to cost an extra $300 to fix, because of the shattered screen. When I mailed my laptop to them, the touchpad wasn't working. The screen was fine. FML

#18785645
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33925) - you deserved it (2721)

On 01/12/2012 at 3:06pm - money - by meggs2209 - United States

Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML

#20033618
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24043) - you deserved it (2721)

On 08/21/2012 at 9:04am - animals - by jenA - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got hit in the face by a ping-pong ball. It hit me so hard, it burst a big zit on impact. FML

#21436170
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23203) - you deserved it (2721)

On 07/04/2015 at 2:25am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)



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