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Today, I overheard my dad telling his friends that the only way I'll ever sleep with a woman is with the help of Rohypnol. FML

#21292660
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27050) - you deserved it (2654)

On 11/05/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by chlorobitch551 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was mugged on my way to the bus stop. With no money or mobile I started to panic about the exam I had and ran the 3.5 miles to get to there. When I staggered up to the building only 20mins after the exam started, the university staff wouldn't let me sit it as I couldn't prove my identity. FML

#3022587
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55082) - you deserved it (2653)

On 06/19/2009 at 4:22am - misc - by verrine - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I looked at my father's facebook for the first time in a month to see his status and it said "making wedding plans!" Really? When was he planning on telling his own daughter. FML

#7226655
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27275) - you deserved it (2653)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:08pm - love - by bitchface (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I started my first day of work. I was told to absorb everything going on and to get used to the high-paced flow of things. I've been sitting at my desk for two hours now, and the office has been empty since I've walked in. FML

#13276180
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23088) - you deserved it (2653)

On 10/01/2010 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was awoken by my neighbor pounding on my back door at 3 am, only to look outside and see my car engulfed in flames. FML

#15226621
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37725) - you deserved it (2653)

On 03/07/2011 at 4:19am - misc - by WTF -

Today, I signed the divorce papers my wife gave me. When I went to bed, she was on the phone talking to her new boyfriend. FML

#19131247
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34010) - you deserved it (2653)

On 02/21/2012 at 1:45pm - love - by GeeTwo - United States

Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML

#21331081
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38555) - you deserved it (2653)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:27am - misc - by shittysituation - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me that her vagina is "as cute today as it was twenty years ago." FML

#21308358
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29164) - you deserved it (2653)

On 11/29/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by justawallflower - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received official notification that my license was being suspended for multiple DUIs. Apparently, my brother is a drunk and has been using my ID. FML

#4944535
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43459) - you deserved it (2652)

On 08/31/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Notabum (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents held an intervention for me. Apparently they think I'm turning into a goth. All because they saw me re-lacing my shoes with black shoelaces instead of white ones. FML

#14204770
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28613) - you deserved it (2652)

On 12/14/2010 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went out to my car only to find my battery had died the night before. With the wind chill, it was -20°F outside. With the hood open, and jumper cables in one hand, I tried to flag down a passing motorist for help. A man in a truck slowed down, sarcastically waved at me, and kept driving. FML

#14663711
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25977) - you deserved it (2652)

On 01/21/2011 at 4:50pm - misc - by dwhitehouse (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML

#17757259
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24571) - you deserved it (2652)

On 09/16/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by Smart - United States

Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML

#20094866
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32690) - you deserved it (2652)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:56am - love - by Shortround - United States (Illinois)



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