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Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

#17525385
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29249) - you deserved it (2532)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by anonymous22kittylicklick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

#21259933
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39853) - you deserved it (2532)

On 09/17/2014 at 8:18am - misc - by makeyourselfathome (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boss used Siri to settle a debate we were having in our team meeting. Siri responded by calling him "Daddy". FML

Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML

#3050624
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48449) - you deserved it (2531)

On 06/20/2009 at 1:28am - health - by sleepless (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

#19083975
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20201) - you deserved it (2531)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:09am - animals - by workaholic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the imperial fist of spring allergies knocked me flat on my ass. The time I was going to spend at the outdoor concert I paid $80 for was instead spent in my car, driving back home. FML

#19543754
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18360) - you deserved it (2531)

On 04/28/2012 at 6:44pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38535) - you deserved it (2531)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

#21242552
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40599) - you deserved it (2531)

On 08/21/2014 at 3:30pm - misc - by stepshart - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got an email from my seminar tutor asking why I wasn't in class. I was sitting next to him. FML

#14924630
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26354) - you deserved it (2530)

On 02/10/2011 at 5:48pm - misc - by JaneVI (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, it was my first time taking blood on the ward. The doctor saw that I was nervous and gave me a violent old man with schizophrenia who thought I was there to kill him. FML

Today, I finally got a restraining order against my violent ex. My mom now keeps finding ways to tell me how shitty I am for breaking the "poor boy's" heart and how I didn't deserve him anyway. FML

#21331330
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34354) - you deserved it (2530)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:52pm - misc - by help (woman) - Malta

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32720) - you deserved it (2530)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML

#21304373
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28481) - you deserved it (2530)

On 11/23/2014 at 7:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
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