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Today, my fiancé called me 'thick' for not realising he'd been sleeping with his ex earlier. FML

Today, someone posted online a listing for a bicycle for sale, and accidentally put my phone number instead of their own. I have received more calls in one day than I have from friends and family in a week. FML

#14574802
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22860) - you deserved it (3057)

On 01/14/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by wrongnumber (woman) - United States

Today, I was introducing my American cousin to the peaceful English village I live in. Just as I was reassuring her that the people were very friendly and welcoming, a car drove past and pelted us with eggs. FML

#17811386
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26355) - you deserved it (3057)

On 09/23/2011 at 4:31am - misc - by egghead - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML

#19605689
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21604) - you deserved it (3057)

On 05/11/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

#20424687
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38110) - you deserved it (3057)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was notified that the company did not give me a raise two months ago like I thought. The increase was a typo. Two months ago I wrote a thank you for the raise email to my boss. Now I get to write a check to the company to pay back my "raise." FML

#20676088
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38074) - you deserved it (3057)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:07pm - work - by Check Writer - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend texted me "I think we should move in". Then, ten seconds later she sent another text that said, "Sorry, typo. Move on". FML

Today, my hand was stung by a wasp. It has resulted in all my fingers being swollen and therefore much bigger than usual. I'm getting married tomorrow and there's no way I can get the ring on my finger. FML

#21268375
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42519) - you deserved it (3057)

On 09/30/2014 at 2:46pm - health - by Tampax - Spain (Castilla-La Mancha)

Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML

#21302674
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34358) - you deserved it (3057)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:23am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she found a lot of red lipstick on my neck. The red lipstick was from her lipstick because she came over in the middle of the night when she was really drunk, then left. She refuses to listen to me. FML

#6181842
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37272) - you deserved it (3056)

On 11/06/2009 at 12:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

#12376475
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43909) - you deserved it (3056)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I got home from work to find my boyfriend sobbing hysterically over the death of his cat. The only cat he could be talking about is the one on his Sims account. FML

#19505597
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27373) - you deserved it (3056)

On 04/21/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got hit between the legs with a kayak. FML



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