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Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

#16367942
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33911) - you deserved it (2778)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - work - by Alice - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

#20808725
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41777) - you deserved it (2778)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28462) - you deserved it (2778)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, and pretty much every day, my co-worker takes off her shoes while working. The smell of her feet makes me dizzy. I don't know if she's oblivious to the fact that her feet stink, or she just doesn't care. It's affecting the quality of my work. FML

#21384560
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26597) - you deserved it (2778)

On 03/31/2015 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

#4897987
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38537) - you deserved it (2777)

On 08/29/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by chinesef000d (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML

#14960685
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39906) - you deserved it (2777)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:14pm - love - by Saberwolf (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at a family reunion, my dad announced to everyone that I'd finally started my menstrual cycle. My grandmother started sobbing hysterically. FML

#17092331
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40316) - you deserved it (2777)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22039) - you deserved it (2777)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, I found a purse in the school bathroom. When I looked inside, there was an iPod along with some other expensive stuff in it. I took it to the office so the right owner would get it back. The owner passed me in the hall on the way there; she freaked out and punched me in the face. FML

#20551761
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42482) - you deserved it (2777)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:55am - misc - by really? (woman) - United States

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

#20972130
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42931) - you deserved it (2777)

On 11/27/2013 at 2:08am - animals - by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - United States

Today, my neighbor scolded me for "allowing" her son to be bitten by one of my dogs. This would be reasonable, except for the fact that her kid had jumped my fence and tried to steal a rattle out of my daughter's hands. FML

#21133303
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42722) - you deserved it (2777)

On 05/07/2014 at 3:16pm - kids - by Arthur - United States

Today, I grabbed a handful of crackers from the kitchen, only to find it crawling with bugs. Apparently, my brother had made the same discovery earlier, but put the box of crackers back in the cupboard anyway. FML

#13129116
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26873) - you deserved it (2776)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:26pm - animals - by thanksbro - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went for a drive with my boyfriend and his dad. His dad was kind enough to point out at every opportunity girls "that would be better for him than me". FML

#14449483
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28122) - you deserved it (2777)

On 01/03/2011 at 6:37am - love - by anon. (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)



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