Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home to find my Dad cheating on his new wife of six weeks. With my own mother who was supposedly dating "a real catch". Should I be happy that my parents love each other or pissed off that they're both whores? I can't decide. FML

#7025627
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29053) - you deserved it (2605)

On 12/30/2009 at 12:03am - intimacy - by wheresthelove (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML

#14442409
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26684) - you deserved it (2605)

On 01/02/2011 at 7:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend likes to show his female co-workers his dick, by emailing them pictures of it. I found out when he included my email address in with theirs. FML

#13880762
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28271) - you deserved it (2605)

On 11/17/2010 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spent half an hour on the phone with a woman who was yelling at the top of her lungs, sobbing uncontrollably and hyperventilating. She also told me if she had a heart attack and died from crying, it was all my fault. Why? I told her she needed her receipt to have her T.V. repaired. FML

#10769429
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29730) - you deserved it (2605)

On 05/26/2010 at 12:26am - work - by customerservicesucks - Canada (Alberta)

Today, this guy I have a huge crush on came with me to my house to study. I was warmly welcomed by my drunken mother laying naked on the floor. FML

#14779228
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34186) - you deserved it (2605)

On 01/30/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by madelynn (woman) - United States

Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML

#20043967
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31077) - you deserved it (2605)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by masterman - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML

#20461178
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36695) - you deserved it (2605)

On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)

Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "lil' yeast infection's sis". FML

#20935789
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33657) - you deserved it (2605)

On 10/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by Dor51 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML

#5813153
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32723) - you deserved it (2604)

On 10/13/2009 at 7:07am - love - by quietsleeper (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out why my 5 year old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML

#4803668
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40179) - you deserved it (2604)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by Stripperofthemall - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my mom and dad. It wasn't my dad. FML

#6970974
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28562) - you deserved it (2604)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML

#13350448
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32835) - you deserved it (2604)

On 10/07/2010 at 12:21am - animals - by lindsey789 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my sister announced that she had gotten engaged. I was happy for her until I found out she's marrying the guy who relentlessly bullied me all through high school. FML

#17300060
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36752) - you deserved it (2604)

On 07/29/2011 at 5:35pm - misc - by Username - Netherlands (Flevoland)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: