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Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

by Anon / 11/14/2011 at 3:45am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2011 at 7:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML

by DCarreon / 10/04/2012 at 3:13am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my manager rejected my leave application for Christmas. Later I found out that I'm going to be the only employee working at the office during Christmas. FML

by homerr123 / 12/23/2013 at 12:35pm / India (Maharashtra) / Work

Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML

by anoymus / 05/30/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was getting ready to go to a surprise party I'd planned for my best friend. All was going well on the discretion part until I logged onto Facebook. I saw that my sister had set her status to, "At Natalie's surprise party! BBL!" Natalie had liked it. FML

by surprise / 12/11/2009 at 4:04pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I had caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast-milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML

by mommy / 11/17/2010 at 7:09am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, while playing soccer, I was kicked so hard in the shin that my tibia snapped. The snap was so loud that even the audience heard. As we waited for an ambulance, my mom started yelling for me to get off the field so the game could continue. FML

Today, my roommates thought I wasn't home and started talking about me. Apparently I'm a lesbian, devil worshiper, and an alcoholic. I didn't know my life was so fascinating. FML

by FroggyGirl888 / 10/11/2011 at 11:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML

by kklaucen14 / 08/05/2012 at 9:15pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

by booo / 07/27/2012 at 1:46pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

by Alexismaria / 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my parents are 28,000 dollars in debt and that my bank account has $27.17 in it. They took my money to help pay their debt. FML

by armenta427 / 10/07/2009 at 12:12am / United States / Money