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Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "our priorities aren't the same." Her priorities turned out to be getting into my coworker's pants. FML

#20969114
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40663) - you deserved it (2623)

On 11/24/2013 at 2:59pm - love - by bsulyingb (man) - United States

Today, I asked the girl I sort of like as we were leaving class how her day was going so far. She said, 'Great. Don't ruin it.' FML

#21333389
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30104) - you deserved it (2623)

On 01/08/2015 at 4:26pm - love - by loser - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to endure my father going on a sexist rant about how women shouldn't be allowed to go to university because it's "unrealistic" since "all women" become stay-at-home mums. This is the same man who threatened to kick me out if I dropped out of uni. FML

#21299878
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31867) - you deserved it (2623)

On 11/15/2014 at 10:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML

#4343153
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59784) - you deserved it (2622)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:41pm - work - by smiletellsall (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML

#20452848
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45281) - you deserved it (2622)

On 01/10/2013 at 11:06pm - love - by good job bf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my needle-phobic mother took me to get a shot. She fainted. FML

#20503278
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23161) - you deserved it (2622)

On 02/12/2013 at 2:41am - health - by shots shots shots (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom put a candle on in the living room. She told the family "how much she loved it!" My mom then went on the tell us that my dad got it for her and it must have been some cheap candle. I bought the candle as a gift for her on her birthday. Thanks mom. FML

#5808379
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21916) - you deserved it (2621)

On 10/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML

#8658955
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24636) - you deserved it (2621)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:17am - misc - by cman (man) - Romania (Iasi)

Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying "Hey there." She quickly replied, assuring me that she's not cheating on me. Uh, okay. FML

#21325320
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32616) - you deserved it (2621)

On 12/27/2014 at 2:14pm - love - by is_that_right (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML

#5848296
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38072) - you deserved it (2620)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by xXx (man) - United States (California)

Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML

#6832794
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28506) - you deserved it (2620)

On 12/19/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by neednewfriends (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my date and I went to the movies. After the date, we were both on an instant chat room at our homes. Her personal message displayed "I think I love my ex again." FML

#12746191
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25687) - you deserved it (2620)

On 08/25/2010 at 10:09pm - love - by bevo - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was alone in my dorm room rehearsing comments to make in my writing class tomorrow. I grew up with a severe stutter, and rehearsing like this is one of the ways I keep my speech under control. What I didn't plan on was my roommate walking in. I think she now thinks I'm schizophrenic. FML

#13846681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (2620)

On 11/14/2010 at 10:43pm - misc - by stutterernotschizophrenic (woman) -



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