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Today, I was working Customer Service at Wal Mart. An elderly lady came to my register to return a pair of white pants. I asked her what was wrong with them and she replied "even when I had underwear on you could still see my pubic hair." The pants had hair on them. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2009 at 1:41am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that our water tank has had a dead crow rotting in it for days. I took showers and brushed my teeth with dead crow soup. FML

by aqua88 / 11/05/2009 at 10:26am / Malaysia (Selangor) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriend is an active member of the suicide forum. He told me I should make an account too. FML

by lightblue / 10/10/2010 at 12:33am / United States (California) / Love

Today, it's memorial day weekend. The cops are all over the place watching for speeders and drunks. Some complete dickhead decided to spray paint "cop killa" on the side of my car. It won't come off. FML

by mperh / 05/28/2011 at 8:46am / United States / Transportation

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

by Username / 08/01/2011 at 10:46pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML

by jamienicole1993 / 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

by susan / 02/23/2010 at 8:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, an old lady came through my line to buy some groceries. She told me she lost her purse and was a little short. It was busy, so I pulled out my little purse and gave her the money she needed. A few minutes later she returned with my boss, insisting that my purse was hers. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2010 at 12:59am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my friend told me I'm not welcome in her house anymore. I've spent the last two months painting and doing it up for her, because she's pregnant and couldn't herself. I just finished the job. FML

by Sapphirlinda / 07/03/2010 at 7:25pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love

Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML

by ChestExploding / 11/20/2013 at 6:53pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I asked the girl I sort of like as we were leaving class how her day was going so far. She said, 'Great. Don't ruin it.' FML

by loser / 01/08/2015 at 4:26pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML

by Wutdafuqq / 02/23/2015 at 3:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML

by xolaurennnn / 05/22/2015 at 11:55am / United States / Miscellaneous