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Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34534) - you deserved it (2787)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML

#21253357
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39034) - you deserved it (2787)

On 09/06/2014 at 11:06pm - animals - by Meowit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was hit by a truck while walking to school. It was the driver's fault as I was in a crosswalk. My parents met me at the hospital where I had minor injuries. They began discussing what the insurance money would be spent on. They decided on a second honeymoon to Las Vegas. FML

#2411169
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57154) - you deserved it (2786)

On 05/29/2009 at 7:21pm - money - by screwed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to see my guidance counselor. I was supposed to hear from my college about a scholarship by October 3rd. I was worried since it was already the 2nd so I went to talk to her. She never turned in my nomination. Goodbye $80,000 scholarship. FML

#5615281
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49094) - you deserved it (2786)

On 10/03/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by Screwed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me so she could "let her life flow in the direction she wants." Apparently that includes smoking, stealing and making out with other girls at parties. The best part? She wants to get back together "after she matures and gets it out of her system." FML

#6377568
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27938) - you deserved it (2786)

On 11/20/2009 at 4:30am - love - by ApparentlyIFail (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

#6914931
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33700) - you deserved it (2786)

On 12/24/2009 at 1:09am - love - by Nemesis2747 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had given up on finding my makeup bag with cell phone and iPod my mom had bought for me recently. So I went to art to join the group of girls with whom I share the back art studio of my school. One of them was talking about how she'd ripped off some bitch's stuff, and she held up my bag. FML

#6867947
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36696) - you deserved it (2786)

On 12/21/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming at me for being a slut for having a baby so young. She got so worked up that she started swearing. Not only was I just babysitting for a friend, I am unable to get the toddler to stop swearing. FML

#14772330
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42193) - you deserved it (2786)

On 01/30/2011 at 9:46am - kids - by QuicksilverMaximoff (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, a coworker introduced herself to me and told me she hopes I enjoy my new job. We've worked in the same building for two years. I say hello every time I see her. FML

#15869233
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30329) - you deserved it (2786)

On 04/21/2011 at 1:27am - work - by Forgetable (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

#18371495
114 comments

Today, I discovered the crunching noise your foot will make if you accidentally drop a cement block on it. FML

#20011651
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29385) - you deserved it (2787)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:33pm - health - by flatfoot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

#20124963
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33689) - you deserved it (2786)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML

#20527319
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26742) - you deserved it (2786)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States



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