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Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

#4897987
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38479) - you deserved it (2772)

On 08/29/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by chinesef000d (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my fellow coworker about how nervous I was about sleeping with this guy I really liked. She's been constantly giving me advice about him for months, but today she said "Oh don't worry, he isn't that good in bed anyway." FML

#6293770
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20172) - you deserved it (2772)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by taurus05 (woman) - United States

Today, while flying on American Airlines back from visiting family, a new born puked its breakfast all over my HP mini, knocked my orange juice ino my lap, and than coughed up another layer on top of it all. I couldn't change my pants because of we were about to experience turbulance. FML

#6527445
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36133) - you deserved it (2772)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:34am - kids - by coloradoman (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, we had our first rainstorm in weeks. Thirty seconds before it started, my window broke in the "down" position from overuse, since last week the air conditioning in my car gave out. Now I have a hot, wet car. FML

#12431823
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21544) - you deserved it (2772)

On 08/10/2010 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML

#15048725
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27699) - you deserved it (2772)

On 02/20/2011 at 3:35am - misc - by Katie - Reserved

Today, my friend decided to jump out of a moving car. I had to explain to the nice old lady who stopped that my friend who was convulsing on the ground wasn't on drugs, he's just really stupid. FML

#17903189
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25173) - you deserved it (2772)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:10am - misc - by dmanrique - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

#6857935
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26021) - you deserved it (2771)

On 12/21/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by goblue (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at a family reunion, my dad announced to everyone that I'd finally started my menstrual cycle. My grandmother started sobbing hysterically. FML

#17092331
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40257) - you deserved it (2771)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a violent allergic reaction to some bread I ate at a restaurant. How did they apologize? By sending me a free basket of bread. FML

#17782998
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29118) - you deserved it (2771)

On 09/19/2011 at 8:21pm - health - by Eli (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

#20845971
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40306) - you deserved it (2771)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was passed over for the job of my dreams. I now have to watch as a girl I have on Facebook - a total moron - boasts daily about scoring the position instead. Turns out the interviewer was her uncle. FML

#16705159
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32771) - you deserved it (2770)

On 06/17/2011 at 12:50am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out my fiancé is in the market for a new girlfriend. How? He used my credit card to sign up for 3 dating sites. FML

#17818947
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33025) - you deserved it (2770)

On 09/24/2011 at 5:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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