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Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30897) - you deserved it (3151)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, I bought some pricey lipstick for a date tonight. An hour after putting it on, my lips are so swollen, I look like a blow-up sex doll. FML

#21453135
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22388) - you deserved it (3151)

On 08/07/2015 at 12:36pm - health - by blow me (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I told her best friend the plan the day before. I got reservations to a restaurant on the beach, and we were going to arrive via boat. She never showed. Her parents called me asking why she left town to go to Paris. FML

#6926336
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35727) - you deserved it (3150)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:37pm - love - by hoplessG (man) - United States

Today, I found out the memory card our engagement photos were taken on has been corrupted, so all the images are lost. The guy who took the pictures said that this has never happened to him in the eight years that he's been a photographer. FML

Today, my email got hacked and sent all my contacts something for Viagra. My husband thinks I really sent it to him on purpose and now won't even talk to me. FML

#12899582
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29477) - you deserved it (3150)

On 09/04/2010 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother resolved to never visit McDonald's again. Not because of ethics or health concerns, but because they charged her for extra barbecue sauce. She bitched out the man in the drive-through for a good five minutes, while I sat awkwardly in the passenger's seat. FML

#17018036
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30737) - you deserved it (3150)

On 07/07/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by AgentFreshers (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got my first job after having spent months looking, and graduating college in the meantime. I got it based on my pre-college qualifications. FML

#17928549
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25291) - you deserved it (3150)

On 10/07/2011 at 3:32pm - work - by jdmarine83 - United States

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

#21305050
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41193) - you deserved it (3150)

On 11/24/2014 at 8:44am - love - by ohwell (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML

#21417917
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34094) - you deserved it (3150)

On 05/30/2015 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML

#112173
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59298) - you deserved it (3149)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by jeezy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we were practicing figure drawing in art class. Our regular model didn't show up, so our teacher pulled someone out of study hall. And who did she pick? My ex-boyfriend, who stalked me after our breakup, which resulted in a nervous breakdown that put me in therapy. It was a long class. FML

#14016985
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29006) - you deserved it (3149)

On 11/28/2010 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that the only time I've ever been noticed by my classmates is when I brought cake for the potluck. FML

#14133320
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23977) - you deserved it (3149)

On 12/08/2010 at 4:55pm - misc - by Invisible - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML

#12959590
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33301) - you deserved it (3149)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Nothingonyou - Sent from mobile version



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