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Today, my mom finally got a Netflix account after months of me begging. When I asked her what the login was, she refused to give it to me. She said, "Netflix will know it's not me and then they'll cancel our account." FML

Today, I went on a blind double date with my friend. My date was actually blind. Not so bad, he seemed nice, until he told me I sound ugly and annoying. My friend laughed and agreed. FML

#6461991
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34478) - you deserved it (3175)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I found out that all the things I've lent to my best friend over the last few years that have never been returned were actually pawned off so she could pay her cable bill. FML

#19395452
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26113) - you deserved it (3175)

On 04/02/2012 at 2:44pm - money - by Kelly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my 15-year-old son why it wouldn't be a good idea to include a picture of the red Power Ranger in his "Weapons throughout history" project. FML

#19365320
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20086) - you deserved it (3175)

On 03/28/2012 at 6:49pm - kids - by laststand11 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my friend started choking while at a Hard Rock Cafe. I jumped up and tried to give her the Heimlich maneuver, only for her to throw up all over the table and stagger out of the place. I stood there as the waiter asked if I wanted to split the bill. FML

Today, I went to see a movie. While buying tickets, the girl behind the counter asked to show my ID card to proof I'm at least 16 years old. Not wanting to make a drama, I showed it. She took a look at it and declared it as fake. That ID is real and I'm 24. FML

#4107036
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56953) - you deserved it (3174)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Limburg)

Today, at the DMV, I was told to push my forehead against a vision testing device on the counter to activate a blinking light. When nothing happened, the employee started yelling for me to push harder. I tried again, only to knock the whole thing into her. FML

#16745803
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30199) - you deserved it (3174)

On 06/19/2011 at 1:51pm - misc - by sabadaba - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML

#19736092
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36200) - you deserved it (3174)

On 06/04/2012 at 11:47pm - work - by kufan1324 - United States

Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML

#20906662
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36392) - you deserved it (3174)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML

#20959913
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43964) - you deserved it (3174)

On 11/16/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by gonnafail (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44422) - you deserved it (3173)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML

#21399557
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41508) - you deserved it (3173)

On 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm - love - by RBergman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

#5482819
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36390) - you deserved it (3172)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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