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Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate's alarm clock going off at 6:00 in the morning. His bedroom door was locked, and he was passed out in his bed from drinking too much. It rang continuously for five and a half hours before it finally ran out of batteries. FML

#12934228
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27754) - you deserved it (2792)

On 09/06/2010 at 2:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very overweight. She fell asleep on me, and violently bled from her nose upon take off and landing. FML

#16791372
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35503) - you deserved it (2792)

On 06/22/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by ifmlftw - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'm participating in a 30 hour awareness-raising event on famine in Africa. I'm supposed to hand out leaflets to people from my booth. My school decided to hand out a literal crate-load of free cupcakes right in front of us. FML

#19239512
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19740) - you deserved it (2792)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:15pm - misc - by hungry - Canada

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

#20849812
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39209) - you deserved it (2792)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm - work - by Awkward - United States

Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective. I made this discovery when I got rained on while I was getting my car washed. FML

#7678030
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21083) - you deserved it (2791)

On 01/29/2010 at 4:38pm - misc - by minette08 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML

#12646207
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31104) - you deserved it (2791)

On 08/20/2010 at 2:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

#18933049
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29747) - you deserved it (2791)

On 01/28/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by messyvictor (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML

#21352647
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35625) - you deserved it (2791)

On 02/09/2015 at 9:53am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke up late, didn't shave, didn't have time to iron my clothes, didn't eat breakfast, and ran into the office with beads of sweat running down my face. The meeting had been cancelled. FML

#813
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20687) - you deserved it (2790)

On 01/08/2009 at 2:42am - work - by Poopalipa - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year old son starts rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly. "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looks at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML

#6620817
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30522) - you deserved it (2790)

On 12/05/2009 at 7:04pm - animals - by Sissy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML

#20493991
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28892) - you deserved it (2790)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML

#21289188
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34222) - you deserved it (2790)

On 10/31/2014 at 5:12pm - health - by peanutprobs - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I finally came home from a semester of college, and all my parents and sister can talk about is how bad my acne has gotten. FML

#6824006
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27601) - you deserved it (2789)

On 12/19/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by honutattoo - United States (California)



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