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Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

Today, the last thing I remember before getting the shit beaten out of me at the bar, was my dipshit brother saying to me, "Dude, I'm not a racist, but" and then ranting about how non-whites should get out of America. FML

#21387285
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27351) - you deserved it (2756)

On 04/03/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

#6131025
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39582) - you deserved it (2755)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:24am - love - by whysheheartless (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML

#13430333
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32511) - you deserved it (2755)

On 10/13/2010 at 2:18am - love - by failure (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML

#20174445
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19623) - you deserved it (2755)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm - misc - by Unfortunate Painter - United States (California)

Today, my 2-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old husband both woke me up in the early hours of the morning. Their complaints were the same: they'd both wet the bed. FML

#20555313
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35747) - you deserved it (2755)

On 03/22/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by sickness and health my sphincter (woman) - Singapore

Today, I went to get new shoes. I'm a pretty tall girl and I have proportional feet. I asked the cute guy who worked there for a size 9.5. He burst into laughter before putting on a shocked face and saying, "Oh wait... You're serious." Goodbye, self esteem. FML

#20757181
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42400) - you deserved it (2755)

On 07/01/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by theyre not THAT big. (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML

Today, I woke up on Christmas morning to find that a large cock and balls had been keyed into the windscreen of my car. My new, two-week-old car, which I will be paying off for the next four years. FML

#21005375
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36134) - you deserved it (2755)

On 12/25/2013 at 7:45pm - money - by Sophies (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML

#21149185
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38163) - you deserved it (2755)

On 05/23/2014 at 12:00pm - misc - by notgoodwitholdpeople - Singapore

Today, I picked up an extra shift at the store. It was also the day the store's ventilation system shut down, resulting in carbon monoxide poisoning for me and two co-workers. FML

#21230314
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39218) - you deserved it (2755)

On 08/05/2014 at 6:44pm - work - by cutthroatkait (woman) - United States

Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML

#21304446
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44217) - you deserved it (2755)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, our band had a road trip. Two people chose to stack themselves on top of each other to share a seat rather than sit in the last seat next to me. FML

#21326846
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27405) - you deserved it (2755)

On 12/29/2014 at 11:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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