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Today, my neighbor finally cut the grass on his front lawn. At 2 in the morning. FML

by anon / 07/20/2011 at 3:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of my friends liked the post. FML

by djkimmaz / 12/03/2011 at 6:23am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that my boyfriend hides valuables in the washing machine under dirty clothes when leaving town for the weekend. I learned this AFTER I'd done a load of laundry. FML

by washed / 10/11/2009 at 7:30pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was informed by my manager at work that there had been an 'accident' in the playground. I then had to crawl through tunnels designed for 5 year olds, to a tiny playroom with no fresh air, and clean up a stupid kid's pee and crap. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2009 at 12:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML

by Charles Pennington / 11/22/2011 at 6:36am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbour was practicing his opera singing, drunk. FML

by Thesuz / 09/05/2013 at 11:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandparents came over to visit. I'm still not sure if they came to see me or my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 12/12/2013 at 6:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2015 at 9:53am / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, I was getting on a bus, the driver shut the door on me while I was half way inside. Instead of apologizing to me, he criticized me for getting in the way. FML

by insignificant / 10/29/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML

by please_no / 03/16/2010 at 10:40am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML

by mzgabbster / 10/24/2010 at 8:21am / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, after weeks of intense studying with the intent of pulling my grades up, I saw that in fact, they've all gone down. FML

by Rae / 05/04/2012 at 5:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my trusty old car decided that it no longer needed its back passenger window-pane, and that in fact the window would look a lot better smashed to pieces by the roadside. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2013 at 10:17am / Ireland / Miscellaneous