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Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents, despite my long-standing protests. Over the next hour, they asked her if she'd ever considered becoming a swinger, why not, if she'd ever consider it in future, and to keep them in mind if she does. FML

#20959018
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39694) - you deserved it (2882)

On 11/15/2013 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend's little sister told me she hates me. I thought she was just a jealous, whiny tard like most kids are, until she calmly walked over to the wall and headbutted it hard. She burst into tears, ran out of the room, and told my boyfriend I hit her. He believed her. FML

#21369365
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35053) - you deserved it (2882)

On 03/06/2015 at 3:44pm - kids - by single&alone (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my exchange student asked me for a ride to a party at a friend's house that I didn't know about. When I said, "Oh, just let me change", she replied, "I just need the ride, you're not invited." FML

#21396492
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31139) - you deserved it (2882)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:46pm - misc - by me - Canada

Today, my coworker told me that the framed picture our boss put on her desk last week was not, as I originally thought, a picture of her father, but a picture of Rupert Murdoch. FML

#999
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12127) - you deserved it (2881)

On 01/12/2009 at 11:03am - work - by newscorp employee - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friends thought it'd be funny to hold lighters under the smoke alarms while I was sleeping. FML

#14632650
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22405) - you deserved it (2881)

On 01/18/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by desertpunk75 (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the DMV, I was told to push my forehead against a vision testing device on the counter to activate a blinking light. When nothing happened, the employee started yelling for me to push harder. I tried again, only to knock the whole thing into her. FML

#16745803
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26687) - you deserved it (2881)

On 06/19/2011 at 1:51pm - misc - by sabadaba - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML

#16675127
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32837) - you deserved it (2881)

On 06/15/2011 at 9:37am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML

Today, I finally lost my virginity, all while in the passionate throes of an asthma attack. FML

#19989315
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25726) - you deserved it (2881)

On 07/28/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by feminista (woman) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, I e-mailed the on-line instructor for my job, telling her that I had fallen behind in my work due to my grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope your grandmother gets better soon." FML

#20679441
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43740) - you deserved it (2881)

On 05/22/2013 at 8:28am - misc - by projectfain - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML

#7373793
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29581) - you deserved it (2880)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:10am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

#20685391
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52996) - you deserved it (2880)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by a hex upon your anus, sir (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

#3426
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28445) - you deserved it (2879)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:25pm - animals - by MoncaBang - United States (Illinois)



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