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Today, my little sister asked if she could play on my laptop, but I said no because I was writing an essay for school. She then bit herself hard and showed the mark to our parents, saying I did it. As they bitched me out, my sister got on my laptop and deleted my half-finished essay. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to accept, but that she'd basically have to get her mom's permission first. Apparently the answer was no. The worst thing is that she really is this unhealthily dependent on her mom, and probably wasn't lying about needing her permission. FML

#21414249
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27346) - you deserved it (2851)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my mom is the nude model for an art class at my college. FML

#5942211
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53073) - you deserved it (2850)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:30am - misc - by scarred - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend of a year because I discovered she had been cheating on me. Her defense was, "It wouldn't be a problem if you were just OK with this." FML

#13946366
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33978) - you deserved it (2850)

On 11/23/2010 at 4:32am - intimacy - by anonymous -

Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML

#17539435
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31345) - you deserved it (2850)

On 08/21/2011 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I walked into my new maths class. I stepped inside only to be yelled at by the teacher for nearly 15 minutes. I was then told never to enter her class again and was sent to the principal. My identical twin brother was in her class the period before me. He also has a thing for older women. FML

#4329810
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59112) - you deserved it (2849)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:10am - misc - by slamo (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

#8541185
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23835) - you deserved it (2849)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:44am - health - by Username - United States

Today, I found out the real reason why my brother wasn't at his fiancé's Halloween party. He's been in jail for the past 3 months. When was anyone going to tell me? FML

#13800215
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25030) - you deserved it (2849)

On 11/11/2010 at 9:27am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I moved into a lovely basement suite. Unfortunately, the 12 year old upstairs plays violin. She also plays baritone. She said she alternates each day. FML

#18278500
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23116) - you deserved it (2849)

On 11/18/2011 at 12:54am - misc - by guest - Canada

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

#19161830
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25186) - you deserved it (2849)

On 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by fmlsomuch - Japan

Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31826) - you deserved it (2849)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States



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