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Today, I had lunch with my parents. I'm an Asian guy who married a Puerto Rican woman and we just had a boy. My dad looks at my son, then looks at me and says, "You ruined the bloodline." FML

by Northshore75 / 01/15/2015 at 5:24pm / United States (California) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I visited my 78 year old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys. FML

by V / 02/09/2009 at 2:51am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

by pleasestop / 06/11/2011 at 4:48am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML

by unemployed / 04/19/2013 at 8:16pm / El Salvador (San Salvador) / Work

Today, I had to listen to fellow classmates whine about selling one of their many houses, while I can barely afford to pay for a $100 textbook. FML

by thefifthdoctor / 12/10/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Washington) / Money

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

by confsused / 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, the parent of a student called to ask me about a homework assignment. At the end of the call, she told me that I seem to be losing my "Asian accent" from when she first talked to me in the summer. I was born in the US, grew up in NJ and speak perfect English. FML

by kdubz23 / 02/17/2014 at 5:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, the only reason I work 12-hour shifts and close at midnight every Saturday is because my boss doesn't like the fact that I have a boyfriend. FML

by 1039583 / 10/03/2014 at 10:43am / United States (Utah) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2015 at 9:45am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I called my Dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell was. She then informed me that our Dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML

by shroomda / 06/29/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that horror movies do not exaggerate the pain of getting your nails ripped from your fingers. FML

by IIIlibras / 07/27/2011 at 5:28pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while at my boxing gym, an old man came inside and did the oddest drunk dance in order to serenade me. I'm a fighter and fine with taking punches to the face, but froze in terror at the sight of this. FML

by No Action Fighter / 08/22/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to Waffle House to talk to the manager about getting a job. My boyfriend now wants to beat up the manager for giving me his number so that I can call him whenever I'm done filling in the application. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 8:26pm / United States (Alabama) / Work