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Today, my boyfriend read online that oversleeping has been linked to strokes later in life. He's now taken it upon himself to protect me by making sure that I have as minimal sleep as possible. FML

#20429358
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29850) - you deserved it (2813)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:33am - love - by nosleep (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend admitted that she "probably wasn't even sober" when I asked her out and she said yes. Our almost 2-year relationship is the longest drunken mistake ever. FML

#21260142
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33247) - you deserved it (2813)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by KayEffEh (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML

#6580015
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31525) - you deserved it (2812)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my sister is visiting. She used more toilet paper today than I have in two months. FML

#18587898
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22447) - you deserved it (2812)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:45am - misc - by jriese444 - United States (Virginia)

Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML

#20188582
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20362) - you deserved it (2812)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm - misc - by disembob - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38407) - you deserved it (2812)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my girlfriend's dad chased me with a baseball bat because he found a pair of my boxers in her room. They were not there because I left them there, they were there because she stole them. FML

#3897377
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46214) - you deserved it (2811)

On 07/20/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by pyrosythan (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that I have a gluten allergy. What this basically means is that I can't eat anything with wheat in it; bread, pasta, cake, you name it. I am Italian, this basically limits me from eating any of the awesome food my family makes almost every night. Here I come plain rice. FML

#13531568
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32948) - you deserved it (2811)

On 10/20/2010 at 11:12pm - health - by allergic - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML

#17588509
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30683) - you deserved it (2811)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:32pm - misc - by Alexis - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

#17502057
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38510) - you deserved it (2811)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got shut in the walk-in freezer at work. I started banging on the door. My boss wouldn't come and open it because she didn't "play games". She thought I was kidding. FML

#20760145
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40563) - you deserved it (2811)

On 07/02/2013 at 5:08pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

#21258420
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35649) - you deserved it (2811)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:07pm - work - by nocat6 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mum got upset with me for getting my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML

#7663968
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26529) - you deserved it (2810)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:49am - health - by mirrorfad - Sent from mobile version



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

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