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Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

#21461710
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17229) - you deserved it (3148)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML

#453
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23006) - you deserved it (3147)

On 12/05/2008 at 7:49am - work - by Macdaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

#13041055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25093) - you deserved it (3147)

On 09/13/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by IHateMyJob - United States

Today, I told my mom I was going to a New Year's party. She told me to be back by midnight. FML

#18671764
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37281) - you deserved it (3147)

On 01/01/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by tooearly (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricaded himself in the employee restroom and refuses to come out, unless I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here. FML

Today, I found out that my girlfriend got drunk and cheated on me. After I tried to talk to her about it, she dumped me. Not because she didn't like me anymore or that she liked the other guy, but because she felt "too guilty" and "wouldn't be able to look me in the eyes anymore." FML

#8400274
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28923) - you deserved it (3146)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:58am - love - by Dumped (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

#17884262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32792) - you deserved it (3146)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29977) - you deserved it (3146)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

#21110479
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49756) - you deserved it (3146)

On 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm - kids - by babylove - South Africa

Today, I looked outside with a grimace at the very heavy rainfall through which I had to trudge a long way. I waited ten minutes for it to let up, only to find it was getting heavier. So, I started walking anyway. After getting soaked to the bone, I walked through my door, and it stopped. FML

#6567940
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26101) - you deserved it (3145)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Furry (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, the fire alarm went off in my dorm. Not only was it 30 degrees outside, but I was in the shower. FML

#15817809
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32435) - you deserved it (3145)

On 04/17/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by wellhellothere (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad decided that he shouldn't have to wear clothes in the privacy of his own home. FML

#18724307
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29786) - you deserved it (3145)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by Anna (woman) - United States

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

#18515573
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30333) - you deserved it (3145)

On 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by Mariah Heimann - United States (Illinois)



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