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Today, I timed my walk to work perfectly so that I avoided getting sprayed by the rotating sprinklers along the street. As soon as I successfully passed the last sprinkler, a bus sped by me, hit a puddle, and covered me head to toe in muddy water. FML

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

#19971025
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31789) - you deserved it (3330)

On 07/21/2012 at 10:30pm - health - by Luna - United States (New York)

Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML

#19959612
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29053) - you deserved it (3330)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm - health - by owwwww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML

#21287010
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34738) - you deserved it (3330)

On 10/28/2014 at 2:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went to class to take an important final for which I studied all week long and worked hard in class. Today, the teacher also told us that anyone who had an A did not have to take the final. I missed out on a trip to the Bahamas for this. FML

Today, I accidentally dropped a sculpture at college, and it broke. Some weirdo wearing a pink cape and a fake moustache bitched me out and told me not to be such an attention-seeking drama queen. FML

#19026244
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27293) - you deserved it (3329)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend due to our long distance relationship. She then agreed to date my best friend who lives in the same town as me. FML

#12447097
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37470) - you deserved it (3328)

On 08/11/2010 at 2:50am - love - by sadface - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML

#14542249
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34973) - you deserved it (3328)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:45am - love - by Username -

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38092) - you deserved it (3328)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my son gave me a bottle of shampoo for my birthday. I'm as bald as a coot. FML

#21282364
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33146) - you deserved it (3328)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:41am - kids - by Bald (man) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML

#21455591
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23426) - you deserved it (3328)

On 08/13/2015 at 1:12pm - love - by so_this_is_me (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

#4196773
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59876) - you deserved it (3327)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:32am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML

#6283375
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33897) - you deserved it (3327)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by stubble (man) - Canada (Manitoba)



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